Ghillies-The Verne Troyer River Dance and Spring Break

Now when I refer to ghillies I’m not referring to the little slipper kind that dancers wear. 

I think of Riverdance when I think of the dancer ghillies-even though in order to do all of that stomping-they certainly wear something with a rock hard sole attached. 

Nor am I referring to the kind of ghillies with the long shoe strings-running up the knee high socks of the kilted boys during their ceremonial frolic. There’s middle ground here folks and for me it’s a fuzzy dice-ish hybrid. 

What I'm visualizing is a ghillie that is dressy to a degree but whimsical enough to have the much needed ADG edge. At least if you model it appropriately. Paul Stuart is the only source that I’ve found for the “ADG Hybrid” ghillies but it still needs a bit of Fuzzy Dice Customization. More on that later.

I didn’t mean for this to be so funny the other day and I’m sure it won’t be funny in the written word but here goes. I had a long discussion with a friend recently about the pros and cons of spanking. I got it at least three times a week as a kid and I deserved it. That is until about age ten when my mother discovered that taking away privileges…grounding me was more efficacious. I’m the poster child for evidence that spanking doesn’t work and when my mother discovered the whole privilege revocation thang, I used to beg her to beat me and let me go play. Torture-absolute torture.

I was trying to explain my mother’s spanking technique-the style she used on me when I was a little tyke-maybe five or six years old. She would grab me by one arm and start hitting my bottom with the other hand. While spanking me she would in rhythm, with her open palm slap on my butt, lecture me in cadence with the speed of the stroke. Something like….I-whack-told-whack-you-whack-not-whack-to-whack-leave-whack-the shoe-whack-department-whack-until-whack-I-whack-paid-whack-for-whack-my-whack-shoes-whack-now-whack-didn’t-whack-I ?-whack... Say it real fast and you've got my mama's technique. Simultaneously I would be screaming (this would take place in the shoe department at Belk’s-my mom didn’t buy that bullshit about “wait till we get home young man”…she was an on the spot ass whipper) and running in a circle stomping and prancing-thinking that maybe this time my screams and stomps would shorten the cycle time of the ass whippin’. It did not.

So I said to my friend that while this Belk's shoe department whipping was going down it probably looked a bit like Verne Troyer doing River Dance. Said friend laughed so hard I thought we were going to have to call the paramedics.

So picture this ghillie. But picture it in tobacco snuff suede with a Dainite rubber sole. 

Dainite looks like a dressy leather sole from the side but offers great comfort to those of us who spend tons of time on our feet. Got it? Stay tuned-you might get to see a picture of the finished product one day.

Ok…now on to Spring Break with LFG. Gotham was her choice and Phantom of the Opera was her Broadway selection. We are growing up over here folks-and her drama choice is the latest evidence. I’ve enjoyed all of the Broadway productions geared for the younger set-mainly because I’ve enjoyed seeing the excitement in my daughter’s eyes amidst these live productions. We’ve seen Mary Poppins-Chitty Chitty Bang Bang-The Lion King-Finding Nemo etc. They were all fun-and expensive.

LFG asked to see Phantom and so we did. A few friends asked if she would be scared and I honestly didn’t know. Not only was she not scared-she was intrigued with the Phantom and his emotions and behavior. We had our most grown up conversation to date after the play-while walking back to the hotel. LFG asked me why people treated the Phantom so badly and why he seemed to be so angry. She asked me why people couldn’t accept him-even with his disfigurement. I gave her the best answers I could-given that my humble responses were landing on nine year old ears. I know that I have some typically challenging pre-teen and teen years coming up. However, if this little exchange that LFG and I had after the play is any indication of how it might be to talk to an older child-I’m ready for the task.

American Girl store-M&M World in Times Square and Dylan’s Candy Bar rounded out our Gotham boondoggle.

 The M&M store even has GTH M&Ms....they saw me coming. Shut up.

After the American Girl Store LFG declared that “we can go to Polo now dad”. I passed on her permission to scoot up to Polo in lieu of Paul Stuart-J. Press and The Brethren. While many will rightly posit that the Phineas Cole stuff at Paul Stuart is a little bit dramatic, I think it works. Thom Browne remains a dramatic joke. Phineas Cole...you could actually wear most of it to work.

LFG and I cut through Bloomingdales after Dylan's Candy Bar and encountered wrongnosity. I'm all about horizontal-my socks and historically, my dating habits would support this. However, even I can admit when the Fuzzy Dice threshold had been breached.

Horizontal trimmed poacher pockets on seersucker. Please-even I know when to say enough is a damn nough.

Another great destination was Argosy books. LFG was tired and just wanted a place to sit. Argosy has been around for almost eighty years and I can’t tell you how many hours I’ve spent on the second floor-thumbing through stacks of Vanity Fair prints. 

Nirvana. I found a copy of the Vanity Fair J.A.M. Whistler caricature as well as a Whistler bio that I didn’t have. LFG said “but daddy you already have that picture”. Mine is torn-this one is an upgrade.

An Affordable Wardrobe and another great guy. Giuseppe from An Affordable Wardrobe happened to be in Gotham so we grabbed a coffee with him just before catching the train home. The ever so thoughtful G-Man bought Lily a pink Boston Red Socks baseball hat. She’s rarely had it or her Liberty of London Wellies off since then.

Penn Station Pink

A good time was had by all in Gotham. Check out the Spring 2010 Esquire Big Black (Hermes Orange this year) Book. One of our blog friends is quoted therein and it ain't me. I'll be quoted in Highlights next month-the kiddie magazine in the Pediatrician's office.

Back home we met better weather and warmer temps. Time to replant our little corner of the world and LFG was the design director.

I first donned shorts for the trip over to Home Depot but the white meat glare was just too much. LFG finally gave the Liberty Wellies a rest....

 And created this little arrangement when we got home.

SPF number nine hundred couldn't have saved me from the white meat sizzle so my better judgement opted for something a bit more palatable...palatable for me and my public.

Gap Outlet drawstring linen trousers. Fourteen bucks-shut up. Ebay deck shoes. Again, how many times have I got to tell you-shut up. Zip it or I'll give you one of those cadenced lecture Verne Troyer Riverdance ass whippings.

At fourteen bucks when the trouser is a bit too long you take a pair of scissors and you "adjust" them. Quiet please.

Oh...and for knit shirts...to goof off in....Gap Outlet...Fifteen bucks. Thank you. Thank you very much.

LFG got pajamas at the M&M Store. I got a thong.

So last night LFG and I had a date in Old Town. South Austin Grill for a few rounds of Crazy Eights and a couple of plates of decent Mexican Fare. And yes, I wore this-with my M&M thong and a baseball cap since I haven't had a shower since NYC. Belgians on the south end of this boondoggle-haven't worn Belgians in a while-our weather has been just too unforgiving for such nuanced shoddings. 

I saw this car on the way to dinner early last evening. That number keeps showing up in my realm. Remember the random 69 tin sign that I had to stare at over at Bistrot du Coin a few months back. Here it is again. I'm either gonna die at that age or I'm in for some acrobatics soon. Fate-can't trifle with it.

Two more days of Spring Break fun with LFG and then it's back to revenue generation. Stay tuned for updates from Colorado and Utah.

ADG and LFG