LFG and one of her bestest friends connected before walking into Cotillion the other evening. The horror…already beginning at age nine. She and D.B. had on the identical dress. Notice that LFG is holding her mandatory tights in her hand. Yes, her dad is not the most dialed in guy when it comes to getting little girls buttoned up for more formal things. Mandatory-I’ve also had since birth, a slight problem with authority. LFG put the tights on in the bathroom and was then locked and loaded for Cotillion.
LFG on the way home from Cotillion with Beary and The Indian in the Cupboard. It's all good.
Saturday started early with soccer game number two accompanied by misty rain. No cancellations for these gals unless the ball floats on the field. It’s early so I am only half assed prepared for the day beyond soccer. LFG has no rain gear with her and my Briggs brolly is MIA so we are winging it at best. I’m in my typical weekend rig-Trad Homeless Man. No shave-no shower-baseball cap this time accompanied by the old Banana Republic Gurkha shorts and a popped collar-pink knit. My L.L. Bean bluchers still look kinda new-having not encountered anything more than rain on sidewalks to date. By bedtime Saturday night-they’d be fully initiated. If I would wait for the Adderall to kick in before getting dressed-I might do better on all fronts. LFG snapped this one of me at the soccer parking lot-iPhone camera is not a differentiating attribute for said device.
I love my Flusser Mac but it shames LFG when I wear it. My next go-to raingear is Barbour. Ultra Trad-gets better with age. Like me-shut up.
LFG is the smallest girl on her team but a scrappy little one none the less. Reminds me of me at that age. I finally ran track and cross country in high school-having eventually become just too damned little to play other sports. LFG is kinda like a "player-mascot" on her team-with water.
We love books at our house and we have lots of them-but never enough. The National Book Festival is where my inner nerd just explodes into an external badge of honor. Why? Because there are three thousand other nerds with me-shoulder to shoulder. LFG and I had to haul ass from Chevy Chase to the Mall in order to make the book signing line for Daniel Silva before it closed. LFG could tell how excited I was to meet Silva and she was beyond compliant with my sense of urgency-she was rooting for us to get there in time. “Hurry daddy-hurry”. If you know anything about the Mall in D.C. then you know what a bitch parking down there usually is and especially during a festival. We usually take the Metro but this wasn’t an option. So, I park on a street adjacent to the Lincoln Memorial. The signing tents are at the far end of the Mall-nearest the U.S. Capitol. This is a trek, in the misty rain that is a haul for an adult-I was worried that LFG was going to start crying any minute. She’s a bit too heavy to ride on my shoulders-where she was a fixture for about five years.

My child is so cool. Her dad is a scatterbrained nerd. She had no other clothes to change in to but in retrospect, her soccer gear sans sin guards ended up being the perfect rig for the muddy grass and misty rain. She ended up with my Barbour and I ended up with nothing-as it should be.
Lady Barbour
We get to the queue for Daniel Silva and there are at least fifty people ahead of me and he’s been signing for almost an hour. There’s ten minutes left. All that hustling from one end of the Mall to the other and I’m not gonna get my book signed. One of the volunteers told me that he agreed to stay for an additional fifteen minutes-most authors are nice that way. I had to talk to him-there are a couple of characters in his novels that need some immediate attention and I had suggestions for him. I think LFG was as excited for me as I was proud to have my book signed.
Southern Cooking Maven Paul Deen is a really nice lady. Here you can see the back of her silver haired head as she is shuttled away from her signing. She had more security around her than the President usually has. Again, she’s a fine person but really-what’s gonna happen to her? Is some assassin gonna bean her with a ham hock?Now this is a cool thing about hanging out with a nine year old who likes books. We then go over to the lecture tent and listen to Daniel Silva speak about his latest book as well as his approach to writing the spy thrillers that I so love. LFG is good with this but we have a conflict. Jeff Kinney-author of the Diary of a Wimpy Kid books is speaking at the Children’s Pavilion. Kinney trumps Silva so we head over there.
Jeff Kinney has an overflow crowd and I’m not gonna let my little LFG down. I stand her on a table while gathering a stabilizing fistful of Barbour in my hand and we are good. Jeff Kinney is magic with these kids. ADG cannot nudge under the tent awning so I’m keeping my child stable while standing precisely where the water is running off the tent. I needed a shower anyway. I looked like a wet t-shirt contestant and not a pretty one.
Kinney has already signed books for an hour and agrees to go back to signing tent number 13 and sign more books for the kids. LFG and I haul ass over to the sales tent-buy his latest and then run to the queue. LFG meets Jeff Kinney-gets her book signed and it’s all good. What a guy.
LFG gets attacked while cloaked in Barbour. We had to make up all kinds of fun and games to sojourn back to the car without crying from dampness and exhaustion.
I do think we tend to take the Monuments on the Mall for granted sometimes. The Lincoln Memorial at sunset is to me, the most spectacular view as you had over the Memorial Bridge-for us it was going home time.Pre Book Festival Bean shoddings.
Post Festival-Now Broken In
So yes, the walk back to the car was grueling. Twice as long it seems when you are tired and wet. Home to Old Town and comfort food prepared by dad before we crash. Went to the early Handlin’ and reveled in a lazy day yesterday. Five Guys post Handlin’. Gotta keep those arteries clear.
We had a blessed weekend and hope that you have a blessed week.
Onward-wet with signed books
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Andre Plumot Self Portrait-1862.
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Consistent with my fuzzy dice lack of restraint, bellows pockets have made their way on to several of my winter sportcoats and one of my suits…the Flusser Cavalry
As the
I have a colleague that aptly depicts a man’s sportcoat as a purse. Makes sense to me as I usually fill more than one pocket with my random paraphernalia. Poacher pockets just provide a more ample venue to tote stuff around. I could pack for a 3 day weekend
If I'd received an invitation from Mallory for the Everest jaunt, I think I'd have worn this one. No climbing for me though. I'd be at base camp making cocktails.























Conrad Anker finds Mallory's frozen body in 1999 and here above, is the sartorially-sequential-layered evidence of Mallory's attempt to foil the cold.












My next bike was identical to this one. Three speed. Snoop-Dog would be proud. Treasure City was the purveyor of Ross brand of bikes. More precisely...The Barracuda. We had no big chain stores except Sears and their bikes were way to average for my gang. This was about the time of the movie
JUST went back online-can’t believe I found a picture to support my explanation. I think that one of my many trips to the emergency room was due to these forks coming off when I did a wheelie. After the Evel Kneivel movie with
Then I graduated to the “English Racer”…or at least that’s what we called them. The Schwinn dealer in my hometown started carrying
But alas, it was mini bike time the next summer. These things were death traps. Helmets? Still no helmets. The Keystone mini bike was a two-cycle engine instead of the Briggs and Stratton or Tecumseh four-cycle that was standard on most department store mini bikes at the time. The gas cap was the measuring cup for the two-cycle motor oil that was requisite. I was then and to this day, remain an imprecise guy. Some days my Keystone would be running a bit too rich and I’d essentially be spraying for mosquitoes in the neighborhood. Blue smoke and a lower engine pitch. Street legal? Police intervention? Ce qui? Do what daddy? When it ran lean, the pitch was higher. I blew the motor up after one summer. Don’t let those springs on the front forks fool you. These mini bikes had no shock absorbers. It was a tooth rattling ride.
My wealthier buddies had these Honda Mini Trail 50cc bikes. I was beyond jealous. We would congregate in the school yard. They would kick start their bikes. I had to pull a cord to get mine going...humiliating. They had three gears. One down, two up. I had none. Most of those guys never turned out to be sh_t. Serves ‘em right.
Ahhh…then there was the passing fancy called the Solex. I paid $215.00 of my summer money for one of these babies- my biggest regret. The Raleigh-Schwinn dealer had these for one summer. These were in and out of style around my town about as fast as the Nehru Jacket.
The Yamaha Mini Enduro. 75cc of Motocross fantasy. There was no Motocross per se in
Yes; by now we had helmets. Orange metal flake…from the sporting goods section at K-Mart. My town now had a K-Mart and the Sporting Goods department was pretty solid. Zebco fishing stuff etc. My helmet was identical to this one except mine had a clear bubble visor attached. There were no "child size" helmets at K-Mart in 1969. I looked like
The Daisy B.B. gun. My Uncle Doug supplied me with all of my firearms. He showed up at the hospital with this one when I was six. Based on the loot that my Uncle Doug provided, I would have volunteered for a hernia repair every six months.
And finally, the CO2 pellet pistol. This one too, could end your life. If my parents had known about the power of this one and the Crossman rifle, they’d have taken them from me for sure.
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Sleeve cuffs were the last frontier for me. I’d already done bellows/poacher pockets.
I had to show the lining along with the sleeve cuff of the cashmere-wool blend green bomb sportcoat. I told you I was a redneck.







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Mine are the Alden Full Strap version-number 684 in color 8. There are color variations but if you are only gonna own one pair-they must be color 8. Ernie sported the Alden Leisure version-style number 986.
Ernie's shoe story and the tutorial was one thing. Ernie’s stories of Ocean Drive in the 1960’s were even better. The Pad was THE place to hang out in the 1960's after being on the beach all day-in Ernie’s case-as a life guard for Vernon’s Beach Service. You donned
Learning the intricacies of the southern dance as well as sporting the trad summer uniform was generally done for the purposes of successfully navigating the dating-mating ritual. Like most things college boys do-you did it for the girls. I still have behaviors-tethered exclusively to the idea that girls like it or expect it.
Ernie lasted less than a year before returning home. The good news is that he returned home physically and psychologically intact-but not before spending about a year in various Veterans hospitals. Ernie-shod in his translucently buffed shell cordovans told me about spreading his bedroll out and reveling in the mental foreplay and anticipation of how good the stolen small can of Coca-Cola was going to taste once he sat down for a rest. That’s the last thing he remembered about Vietnam. His next memory involved waking up in a hospital in Japan. He and his platoon were flanked by those cunning guys in black pajamas-sandals and AK 47’s. Ernie was softened up a bit before the ground attack with mortar shrapnel.











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