Thursday, October 29, 2009

Damn It Toad!


If you don’t come back at once I’m gonna go on a promiscuity strike. Or is that a celibacy strike? Either way it ain’t gonna be good and the end result will be on your hands. This blog holiday-sabbatical cannot be THAT intriguing. Perhaps restorative to a degree but really-how much restorative luddite-ish escape does a man of your constitution require?
Ok, now that we’ve done another Toad Taunt-let’s touch on some additional Trad Impertinence. Want to?

I was NOT kidding when I told you that I gave my GTH pants to Aunt Tootie.

Here she is at Wal-Mart-picking up a few things for the weekend. Ham Hocks, Pickled Pig’s Feet, Slim Jims (for me), Glory Brand canned collard greens and a few other odds and ends.

Yellow Cords…I mean really. Not sure why y’all had such a craving for them. I’ll sell 'em to ya for a thousand million dollars-LFG set the price. Take it up with her.

Now on to the latest Orvis catalogue I received. I’m not a hat guy-much beyond a baseball topper. However the cover shot shows a four hat mélange that has a fetching wool-plaid hat sandwiched therein. They call it the Stormy Kromer.

Now I suppose if I lived in Michigan or Wisconsin or somewhere similar-I’d be sportin a Stormy Kromer. Nice enough looking hat I suppose. On further perusal though-something just wasn’t quite right.

I began to feel a little bit “all overish” while pondering this head warmer. Then it hit me. The Stormy Kromer is channeling way too much Ed Gein for me.

And finally-my latest intrigue courtesy of Sky Mall. The Dog Genealogy Kit. I’m from South Carolina. My own family tree seems to peter out at about 1957. Hardly enough tree for said doggie to hike a leg on.

Onward.


ADG....and the "G" ain't Gein.


21 comments:

ELS said...

I miss Toad and I never even read him.

If they're yellow elephant cords, hang onto them for your next wing over the pond. Just mind and get your chin sugically removed for the full effect.

Apologies to LFG if she had earmarked the sum for soccer boots.

E

ilovelimegreen said...

So nice to be reading you almost daily! Am in the midst of the next round of deadlines and my brain is a little fried - but how you make me laugh...and I wish I were your Aunt Tootie if only to get those pants.
(If prisoners -and others - go on a hunger strike, then I think celibacy strike is the choice intended.

Mrs. Blandings said...

Toad - I am emailing you right now. It seems the least you can do, if you're not going to blog, is check in with the occasional comment. It cuts to the quick. We didn't even get to see how the pool house came out. Give a girl a break, will ya?

Capt. Mike said...

Seriously Bro, the Stormy Kromer is a serious piece of outdoor gear. With a Stormy and a pair of L.L. Bean boots there is very little a man can't do. I'll be wearing mine this weekend for a spot o' grouse chasin' if the mornings are cool enough (seeing as how I don't own that badass pheasant-embroidered newsie cap).

"Aunt Tootie" made me laugh. I should send her my ghastly skin-tight Polo trou with the 10" horsemen print. I'm embarrassed to wear them when I'm alone, but they'd be chic on her.

Ari said...

Orvis: Good stuff. But too baggy on me. Their smallest shirts are medium, not unlike J. McLaughlin.

TWA said...

So I take it that even though toad has gone private there is not anything going on over there. I just starting reading his blog a few months ago and never got ahold of his email before he checked out. Even if he wanted to take a break I wish he had left his old posts up. Come back Toad just look at what you are doing to ADG... Have a heart man!

Summer is a Verb said...

I gave a pair of the perfect yellow pinwhale cords to my niece last year and I just went to repo them and they're no where to be found. Vanished without a trace and only a vague recollection of their exsistance. Heartbroken knowing they're in a bin in some church basement being overlooked in their greatness...XXOO

ADG said...

ELS…Toad was great. Maybe I can get the Smile Train surgeons to do my chin removal. Smartypants.

ilovelimegreen ...What kinda deadlines? We’ll consider you first-before we gift anything else to Aunt Tootie.

Mrs. Blandings...Go get him!

Capt. Mike...I hear you. However, the Kromer-ish sporting Ed Gein used to kill and eat people. I hope the conditions are spot on for grouse wranglin’. I hear you on the 10” horsemen thing. Not sure what got into those boys over at Ralph. Funny that you can’t even feel “right” about ‘em when sittin’ home alone.

Ari...Same here. The mediums have too much material hanging about for me and the smalls are too small. J. McLaughlin-ditto butcept I can wear their trousers.

TWA ...You tell ‘em!

Summer is a Verb...Allie-Oop … I was worried that you’d never comment on my blog again. If we didn’t love you so much over here-we wouldn’t give a damn. Geez…I’m sounding like a parent. Sorry about the missing pin-wales. Go to Vineyard Vines and get some more-or the Lilly P. shop now that you are beach bound. By the way, I never noticed the brands of clogs and stuff on girls in college. I just loved the way clogs made

longwing said...

Yellow cords? Fall and Winter have their own pallets. Did you not know this? There are Summer clothes and Winter clothes, not warm weather Summer clothes and cold weather Summer clothes.

Kathie Truitt said...

I saw that doggie dna kit coming home a few weeks ago. I want that sooo bad. I'd love to know exactly who my Sally is..an Aquita/lab mix? Or husky/lab mix?

ilovelimegreen said...

ADG - Did you ever get the email I sent you after you returned from mini-hiatus - that will clue you in re my deadlines.

Toad said...

Curse you all. Ya sleep with dogs ya get fleas. If ACD was man enough to revive Holmes, I'll be man enough to be found in my usual spot beginning Nov 10. Mrs. T and I are heading to NOLA first

Tickled Pink And Green said...

Love those pics of Aunt Tootie! By the way, I saw a comment of yours on Summer's blog and wanted you to know the Norwegian sweater is already for sale at LL Bean.

The Blushing Hostess said...

Toad. What a rip off, but my gender thanks him in light of this new development.

Secondly. Sometimes I get involved in one of your posts and I think: Is this really happening? Dog leg? Hiking up? And my nose is still stuck in the monitor going, "Wait... that's the end of the post!? More damn you..."

Did I mention, 800 times, how glad I am that you are back?

The Blushing Hostess said...

OMG... WHAT??? Toad is coming back??? Now I have seen it all. ADG, I think your promiscuity thing might still be a good plan, though... just sayin' is all.

ADG said...

Longwang....you ain't got no authority regarding colors-time of the year kinda stuff. Stay tuned bossman. You are next up in my Vanity Fair separated at birth post.

TOAD....YOU LOVE ALL OF US AND YOU KNOW IT!

Anonymous said...

ADG - I know I am very late on this comment (and anonymous too, so who cares), but I thought you might enjoy this input. I bought a similar pair of Ralph yellow cords on ebay last year. They were far brighter than I expected from the pictures - shockingly bright, almost neon. I figured I might fix this with a good dose of Clorox to knock the brightness out of them. After a good 20 minutes in very bleached water, they came out reaking of bleach...and just as bright as they started. When I think of the clothes I have ruined over the years by inadvertantly spilling bleach in the laundry room, I just laugh at these impervious neon yellow cords.


But they look good on you so I will have to rethink things.

house things said...

I subscribed to Garden and Gun magazine because I read about it on Toad's blog. It's a wonderful magazine and I love it. But, I do wonder what soldier of fortune types of mailing list I might land on because of the magazine's name.

All this to say that I miss Toad.

Pigtown-Design said...

Glad to hear you goaded Toad out of his retirement. Great news indeed!

If you got that picture of Aunt Tootie, I am sure you checked out peopleofwalmart.com. Hilarious.

Friends thought they had a chocolate lab and got that DNA test done, and he's really german short-haired pointer, greyhound and doberman.

Summer is a Verb said...

Yeeessss...For how smart they made us look?...And, one step ahead of you. Hit up Vineyard Vines last wknd for pink and white pin whales...XXOO

Anonymous said...

Your blog keeps getting better and better! Your older articles are not as good as newer ones you have a lot more creativity and originality now keep it up!

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