Monday, October 18, 2010

Bucks-Sauce-Bucks

MWL…my fraternity brother...son of a preacher man…father…of daughters…God gifted him too with daughters…the resultant condition of our college debauchery. I’m convinced of it. His daughters are older so he’s already shared with me what many of you  have regarding the ensuing years with LFG.
While I’m sure MWL had Weejuns, we all did, you couldn’t manifest the Kappa Alpha Order (we are an Order-NOT a fraternity….blah blah blah) in full without them; I can’t recollect him wearing any. He was a Bucks man. Dirty…hell they all became dirty…bucks in the cooler months and white ones in the spring. 
Saddles as well—and I remember the red rubber heels being worn down so angularly on one corner that you’d conclude the boy MWL had "gait issues”. But he didn’t…other than a little touch of what we all had by 3am… something I’ll call “malt rickets.” 
I’ve tried to find a clearer photo of what MWL exacted on my head one night but alas, thank goodness nothing exists any better than the photo above. If you look closely above my left eye and just to the right, a skid mark remnant, courtesy of MWL is in the final stages of healing. You see, we used to have parties. Parties that began with a reasonable level of decorum and would end with the evening’s events featuring impromptu activities. Mantle Diving never caught on at our fratty like it did on other campuses. The trauma-funny index didn’t seem to net out enough appeal for my group of Knights. 
Gatoring certainly did but what seemed to be a consistent late night Olympic event for us was Stair Surfing. After enough malt lube to be rickety but also loose and fairly anesthetized, we’d body surf down the staircase in House Fratty. MWL was an expert—I was a novice.
So one night we caught the same wave and in tandem, headed to the hardwood floor-reservoir catchment area at the end of the stairs. Butcept MWL, instead of passing me, surfed over me and I essentially became his surf board for descent. I sported a carpet burned-scabby forehead, certainly for weeks to come.  The scar’s gone now, replaced with other badges of less acute, lifestyle blemishes. A Google search provided evidence that we weren’t the only Stair Surfers butcept we went down on our bellies. And I was a lot better dressed than the fella in the example above. And we didn't harness ladies to our waists till later. Years later.
So MWL was the Buckmaster…dirty, saddle and white. And of course MWL surfed. But the bad boy also possessed PhD caliber skills in one other area—napping. The boy took napping to a sublime level. Walk in the TV room on any given afternoon and MWL would be neatly, cadaveresquely, laid out slab-like on one of the sofas. Listen, you can’t be the funniest guy in the fratty house without maintaining your sleep. And our boy MWL wasn’t going to do a damn thing later without before manifesting his REM antecedent. He made Napoleon look like a rookie. 
Fast forward twenty five years and folks I haven’t heard from in at least that many begin to drop an email to me here and there. Somebody reads a blog story and sends it to someone else and, well you know how it goes. So MWL drops me a line and of course we reminisce about all the things aforementioned. We talk Bucks and he even sends me the above photo evidence that he’s never given up that shodding proclivity. We’ve all given up Stair Surfing but I betcha MWL still knocks out a nap with fervency and zeal.
We talk about daughters and we catch up on the various. But what really resonated with me were the cahoots that MWL and his daddy go into as a bit of a boondoggle, based on Rev. Marvin’s barbecue sauce hobby. MWL’s dad’s day job was in college administration but his afterhours passions were and are God and barbecue sauce. An ordained minister, Rev. Marvin would serve as interim pastor or guest minister in various pulpits when called. But he also spent time hovering the coals that he raked people over on Sunday. Butcept the aroma and sizzle wasn’t sin-centric, it was pork. I’d had some of Rev. Marvin’s sauce laden ribs years ago but forgot how good they were. But MWL was soon to fix that with a quick delivery of two bottles of Rev. Marvin’s sauce. I cracked the seal on the spicy version and put a test-slather on a piece of chicken. I roll somewhat spicy as a general rule so it just seemed right to give the tangy contrivance first go. And it's tangy...tangy in a good way. Roxanne Burgess tangy. Send me a private email and I'll further define Roxanne Burgess tangy. It's outlawed in three states. And finally, all of my food groups as usual, are manifest in the MaxFridge. And shut up. I don't tell you where to keep your damn Bucks.
Seems that folks began to request batches of Rev. Marvin’s sauce with enough consistency that MWL and his daddy started a saucy entrepreneurial endeavor. While Rev. Marvin purveys the Word on Sunday, he purveys his sauce 24-7. Let me say unequivocally that this story isn’t a set up for me to shill sauce for the MWL clan. As a matter of fact, I don’t want you to spend your money on their sauce. I’m gonna ask you to spend a little dosh otherwise.
I’m not sure if you read my story about Ernie, a Vietnam veteran who worked with me in the old Trad clothing store of my youth. But I’ll never forget the story he told me about being in Vietnam and getting those little handy wipes from his mom. Here’s how I recalled it… “By November Ernie was walking point somewhere in Southeast Asia. As I listened to his stories I realized how lucky I was-having been too young for this war. He told the story of loving the letters that his mom sent him that contained those little packets of moist towelettes from Kentucky Fried Chicken. He had written home telling her that the heat was really bad and that he could never get relief. Ernie said that those little handy wipe packets offered thirty seconds of liberation from the jungle. He’d wipe his face and the back of his neck with them-it was home-it was mom-in a little packet from Kentucky Fried Chicken.”
“Ok ADG, you’re really back to your old self again…this story is an ADD one in full.” Hang on; I’m getting to my point…maybe. MWL and his dad are doing their part to send a little bit of “home” to our men and women in uniform serving in Afghanistan. My nephew, with LFG above, has navigated two tours, one in Iraq and one in Afghanistan so I was especially interested in learning about Sauce for the Troops. It seems that MWL sent a couple of bottles of his sauce over to a friend in Afghanistan and the response was great. 
It’s that little bit of home…a modest gesture of support that was so appreciated. Read more about it here.
MWL and Rev. Marvin began Sauce for the Troops in an effort to scale up their ability to send additional free sauce to the troops while covering the shipping costs. Barbecue sauce in glass containers or even larger plastic vessels en route to Afghanistan incurs steep shipping costs. I rarely use my modest blog as a platform for fundraising but I am this morning. 
Bottom line is I want at least twenty of your bucks. Please consider donating twenty bucks to Sauce for the Troops. It’s not the two-hundred and fifty that I try to shame some of you to pop for a cleft palate repair. Do it for the troops, regardless of what your politics and ideas are regarding Afghanistan and Iraq. PayPal will accommodate your benevolence as soon as you click on the Troops Sauce link. And a thank you note in your name accompanies the parcel. If you want your twenty bucks designated for a specific soldier, MWL will accommodate this more precise option as well. Read about it on their site and please, pop for at least twenty bucks so that MWL and the Rev. Marvin can continue bathing our men and women in some tangy-tasty reminders of home.



Onward. Saucily. Bucks Begging.


ADG, II


Oh and Ps...Dusty Springfield...Son of a Preacherman


25 comments:

Anonymous said...

Well, you certainly know how to get to me. My husband retired from the Marines (Ooh Rah) two summers ago. Just reading about Marines over seas makes my eyes well up. I will most assuredly head over to that website. Tell your nephew I said 'Thank-you and Semper Fi'.

Anonymous said...

Great post. Perfect way to procastinate while I should be finishing account plans, the $20 is on its way, now if I can find some new dirty bucks.
RTS

ADG said...

Thanks!

Suburban Princess said...

Here are a couple more official sites set up for sending mail/care packages to soldiers overseas...

http://anysoldier.com/ - For American soldiers

http://www.trevlac.biz/Chosen_Soldier.htm - For Canadian soldiers

SouthernProletariat said...

Three things:
1. Gladly donated
2. I tell my husband two girls is his penance, no we aren't catholic but trust me- he deserves it too but I wonder why I have to pay the price as well?!
3. Get some sun.

James said...

No brainer thanks for the heads-up.

yoga teacher said...

When I saw the KFC wipe, I was all ready to gather up a bunch of my Cool Off hot flash wipes and send 'em over. They would be PERFECT in the desert! Glad I kept reading, because it was so much easier to click on that PayPal link. PS: I was a little worried you might have stepped in something icky, but it doesn't look like there's much actual food in your refrigerator, anyway :)

Easy and Elegant Life said...

(Insert deep chested dog bark here.) As my brother-in-law, a retired hop and pop Recon Marine once told me: I LOVE Tabasco on my Cheerios.

Sauce and thanks on the way. All the best to your nephew.

Main Line Sportsman said...

Yeah...we wore white bucks in College in mid-80's...and they were dangerous...very slippery on the beer soaked linoleum of the Chapter House party room.

ilovelimegreen said...

I may be confused as to why your white bucks are stored in your fridge - nice to see the lime tonic water there - but I am more confused as to why you, ADG, are not a full time development officer as you are obviously talented in that realm.

ADG said...

Thanks everyone. LimeGreenone...I assume that the compliment you've given me re development was accompanied by a twenty dollar donation for the sauce thang. Right?

Flo said...

Happy to put through an order @ $20 for the troops, done. Then I decided to put in an order for us honeymooners here Casa Amelia. Whoa. I have to confess, I bailed when the total came to $40 for 2 bottles of hot sauce + shipping to Florida. But my heart sings that your buddy has made it easy to get sauce across the world to those deserving men and woman. Makes me weep real tears for what he and the Reverend have pulled off.

Lisa said...

Just know that I'm very simple-minded and only read blogs for the pictures so the over-load of words tend to make my eyes glaze over. Thanks for the troop support - veterans on both sides of the marital aisle as well as our very own issue.

ilovelimegreen said...

ADG - Mais oui (and today's musical selection didn't hurt).

ADG said...

MESSAGE FOR FLO....

MWL sent me this email this morning Flo. The forty bucks that the online venue declared was your cost was wrong. Read here...

Thank you so much. I can tell you first hand that the guys and gals over there really appreciate it. I do have one concern. I was reading the blog and I believe it was Flo that mentioned that she had tried to place an order for a couple of bottles and the total came to $40. That doesn't sound right at all. We have a shipping option that lets folks click the method of shipping they prefer...UPS or USPS. The total for 2 bottles being shipped anywhere in the U.S. via the Post Office's Flat Rate shipping box would be $18.70 (that includes the 2 bottles AND the shipping cost). Please have her contact me direct at lizco@sc.rr.com and I will personally straighten it out. The only thing I can figure is she was getting a total for the donation AND the regular order at the same time (which would have come to approximately $40). Thank you again for all you have done.

ADG said...

And one more thing...for anybody who reads these comments...

I've been humbled yet again this morning and convinced yet again of what I already know. I should NEVER quit my day job for a commercial effort at blogging...that's why you don't see ads on my site...AND...I would be a flop at development and fundraising.

I'm sure it's a failing on my part but compared to the number of blog visits I get per day, and more precisely, compared to the number of blog hits I've received in the last 24 hours,I'm embarrassed for even asking people for the twenty bucks...given the disappointing number of people who were moved enough to donate. Again, I'm sure it's me and my wobbly ass writing skills and the lame way I crafted a twisty-turny story that ended in a request for twenty bucks.

So I'm just gonna go back to doing what I do best. Writing self absorbed, narcissistic shit about the latest pair of fucking socks I've bought, then wearing them in some far away hotel bar while drinking a martini alone, snapping a picture of the whole train wreck of a contrivance and then posting it. Oh, and once a month, I'll write something more well thought out that includes a maudlin and sentimental angle that will make people cry. Oh, and LFG's soccer game outcomes as well.

But to those embarrassingly few that did pop twenty bucks...thanks.

Flo said...

Holy Hot Habanero, thank you SO MUCH, both you and MWL! Headed back over to the Reverend as we speak....

Flo said...

Mr. Adorable, let your elders minister [groan] to your ailing soul. You introduced a thought, sometimes a thought must percolate in a reader's head before reader is called to action. OTOH maybe the action will be a courtesy extended to one in uniform out there somewhere, maybe it will manifest as a softening around a jagged edge regarding what I think has become pervasive anger about our being in prolonged wars. The list of possible eventualities resulting from your original gesture is immeasurable, so don't count hits for a frame of reference. Your readership is huge, your influence is wide, you got the magic touch, wait a minnit, I feel me a song coming on... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AB0xKnFGCSY

CeceliaMc said...

"So I'm just gonna go back to doing what I do best. Writing self absorbed, narcissistic shit about the latest pair of fucking socks I've bought, then wearing them in some far away hotel bar while drinking a martini alone, snapping a picture of the whole train wreck of a contrivance and then posting it. Oh, and once a month, I'll write something more well thought out that includes a maudlin and sentimental angle that will make people cry. Oh, and LFG's soccer game outcomes as well.

But to those embarrassingly few that did pop twenty bucks...thanks."


Hey! Lots of people have their own designated charities where they target their money, so enough with the sardonic minimization of what you do here.

If there's anything that rubs it in the face of the Taliban (and all their coffin addicted ilk), by blowing the victory horn for love,joy, enchantment, and beauty, it's this shit.

Carry on, oh soldier of sumptuousness!

We've got a war to win!

The Preppy Princess said...

Another great post, I can't decide which photo I like best: the stair-surfing or the bucks in the fridge. The latter does provide an alternative for those of us struggling with the shoes and closet space equation.

I'm off to pursue the Sauce for the Troops, thank you for posting this.
tp

yoga teacher said...

I totally agree with my new friend CeceliaMc, but I'll also throw out a challenge. I looked up those Belgian shoes so many of you discuss here, and if you can afford to wear those, you can probably throw down another $20, even if your charity money is already designated. Also, Mr. ADG, if you're ever in Houston, I'll treat you to (or sneak you into) one of my classes and follow it up with martinis in the company of a gaggle of yoginis. And you can take a picture of THAT.

ADG said...

Thanks to all of you. I've been appropriately set strait for my childish little selfish tantrum.

Summer is a Verb said...

Shhhewy...took me a minute to regain my sight after the blinding whiteness of the first pic. 'Twas like staring directly into the sun or sumpthin. Swing by maƱana for your weekly thrashing pasty...XXOO

CeceliaMc said...

"follow it up with martinis in the company of a gaggle of yoginis."


"yoginis"?

Sounds like something my childhood babysitter and bath-time sadist would have instructed me to scrub "real good".

gator pile said...

Was the gatoring photo one of yours? Have linked this to

https://sites.google.com/site/gatorpile/

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