“Do as I say, not as I do”…seems like I heard my mama say something similar when I was a young’un. It didn’t sit well with me back then but I’m gonna ask that you follow mama’s advice.
It was a big day at the mailbox yesterday—shoe wise. LFG’s back to school shoes rolled in and so did my 75th Anniversary Bass Navy Blue Weejuns.
I scooted up to Chevy Chase and handed LFG her shoes…it’s not my LFG weekend coming up and she shouldn't have to wait two weeks for her shoes. I grabbed me a Mello Yello and a slice before heading back to Old Town. I know, I know...I'm living a dream.
The new blues are a solid value for the money. But they ain't the Weejuns of thirty years ago. My other blues were made in Maine. These are made by the hard workers in El Salvador or somewhere approximate. Look at the dodgy pigmentation…kinda like the atmospheric or oceanic swirls on the Weather Channel.
Leather? Yes. But coated with that same shite that my great aunt Edith permanently and hermetically sealed her living room furniture in. I hated going to Aunt Edith’s in Kingstree. She was mean and she smelled funny.
The difference is obvious.
Ok, so I knew what to do about this plastique coating. I knocked similar jizz off of a pair of L.L. Bean Outlet El Salvador Venetian loafers. You need a bleach based cleaner and some friction. Friction is your friend and in this case I used my old buddy Comet. Cupid-Donner-Blitzen…I don’t give a sh_t. Just find some grit.
Now when I did the Bean babies, I sceeched a bunch of Fantastic on the shoe and then powdered it like a baby’s heine. Then another sceech of Fantastic. Sounds barbaric I know but remember-you're fightin' a fiberglass coating.
A gentle work around with a brush and the plastic coating drifts away. Saddle soap. Overnight drying and then some polish and BAM! Perfecto.
But in this case, something went wrong. To say that these aren’t really colorfast is an understatement.
There ain’t no re-do on this process so I’ve gotta go ahead and do the other one.
Go ahead and admit it--I know I did. You’ve always wanted a pair of Royal Blue Weejuns.
And for those of you who don’t. I’d recommend just getting your 75th Anniversary Blue Weejuns slightly moistened with Fantastic. Skip the Comet and for certain, the brush. Wipe ‘em off and let ‘em roll. Unless you want to join the ADG Royal Blue Cadet Corps.
Shut up. If I’ve ever meant it, I mean it now. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up.