Tuesday, December 20, 2011

To Heck With Hitchens—I’ve Got a New Girlfriend!

Her name is LFG. And she’s a dancer.
And she’s growing up so fast I can hardly stand it.
In addition to that bit of breaking news…we have more superficial randomanalia.And I figured we needed it over here at my little corner of the world-after all the delightful pyrotechnics that the Hitchens mention created.  I would have been disappointed and all of you if the fireworks hadn't launched. This load of randomness includes the fact that my Mini Cooper S is quite impractical around Christmas time. But Mountain Dew always seems to mitigate the most perplexing of challenges. It remains to this day, the best antidote to cotton mouth.
What’s been your largest holiday parcel that you've had to deliver this year? See above regarding the impracticality of a Mini Cooper S.
It’s been warm up till now. And I’ve been wearing summer weight suits quite a bit this month. Including this one and only two button Flusser from my archives. All the rest are 3/2.
And this shirt? A twenty year old Ike Behar horizontal hairline stripe…contrasting collar and cuffs. A rather attenuated Gordon Gecko here. Shut up.
But then it got cold and I wore a heavier wool pinstripe Flusser rig another day. Bam. (Bam. Without an exclamation mark. Don’t be vulgar—we’re still in mourning over here)
And then it got really cold.
But not so cold that my girlfriend LFG and I couldn't put up the Christmas tree. Oh, and the Wii Fit? Yep, that’s for me. My arms are getting jiggly and my butt is sagging.
Saggy butts can be aided with the curved cut of a fishtailed English split back trouser. The good folks over at Bookster made the cords for me. Bookster ain't Huntsman but neither are they Huntsman prices. I've yet to try anything other than their trousers but the trews are well worth the price point. I wore these yesterday here in Stamford—the location of my final billable for the year and what a year it’s been. My best since 1996. I’m off the chart grateful. I now finally have the money for my hair transplant.
But if you really wanna draw attention away from your jiggly arms and saggy butt, just strap on a Grecian formulaic Houndstoothian ensemble like this. Jiggly-saggy will be the least of your issues. 
Ok, I’ll close this load of superficial drivel now. Peace. Out.

ADG II in Stamford. Stopping off in Gotham for a dose of NYC Christmas and maybe a little gift for myself. What might that be? Onward.

17 comments:

Yankee-Whisky-Papa said...

With a good business year behind you, I suggest you buy some shoes. You may not have enough.

ilovelimegreen said...

I love that royal blue squiggly rick-rack patterned carpet And that photo of LFG in the camel hair coat just wonderful.
I haven't had to deliver anything oversized this year but two years ago I was the recipient of a six-foot tall inflatable alligator that, I am told, caused quite a sensation on Chain Bridge Road during rush hour traffic when it was being delivered to me.

Anonymous said...

Oh Boy. Do 110 E 55th know you're coming?? My vote is for Tyrian purple lizard with black suede bows.
Definitely bows, no more of that none-bow pseudery.

Andrew said...

Good Lord, you are (were) here in Stamford? I thought I felt the sartorial barometer rise this morning. That must explain why I put on houndstooth instead of Dockers. Sorry we couldn't have a sunny day for you. Enjoy your stay in The City that Works (mostly for Darien and Greenwich).

Young Fogey said...

Wonderful randomanalia. Are you gonna set off another stampede at that grocery store by showing off your chestitude?

Patsy said...

In the second photo down, LFG looks about 16, wow.

I'm test driving an AWD Mini sometime in the next week or so and from what I understand, 'test drive' is code for 'you know you're gonna buy it.'

Anonymous said...

Are those tap shoes? I love tap dancing, and took it up again in middle age.

I had a lot of packages to mail and I used a wheelie duffel bag to take them from the car to the line at the post office. I refused to stand in line more than once.

Anonymous said...

I've heard great things about Bookster. Nice slacks.

Anonymous said...

Dude - there's noting wrong with that car. Now had you gone with the hardtop - then yes, that would be impractical.

Mink80 said...

Fraser fir. Well done sir.

Main Line Sportsman said...

Merry Christmas my good man...

Suburban Princess said...

We could be houndstooth twins!
http://thelifeofasuburbanprincess.blogspot.com/2011/12/outfit-of-day_19.html

Have fun in NYC! Nice chest *swoon*

Summers Cottage said...

My husband bought his Mini Cooper Camden and loved it so much that he bought me one (the non-Camden edition). We love them as our "running around" cars. I have an older Land Rover we use for the big stuff and when all 4 of us need to get around, but the Mini's are too fun!

NCJack said...

Gonna check out the Mini convertible when it comes out, got out of the "hauling" state of mind with the TT...found a guy who hauls cheap.

Four Bookster jackets, with another in mind. A slim feller such as your own self will be pleased, they cut a tight waist, so I have to pay a tad extra as I cut a Prosperous Figure.

Think we'll get snow in SwampHomeCarolina again this Christmas?

ADG said...

NC Jackie...It was in the high 50s in Ct and NYC this week. LFG and I are headed to SC on Sunday. We'll toot the horn when we are close. Snow? Not unless it gets a hell of a lot colder!

To All MINI commenters....it's a GREAT car and I'm loving it. Still rather sad about Saab's demise. I would have loved to own another one.

Suburban...swoon back at you.

AnonTapShoes...nope. Those are Grecian slippers. But I still tap dance...in all my shoes.

MainLiner...back at you. How'd your fighter make out?

YoungFogey...that ain't my chest. It's a stunt chest.

AnonEst55th...I didn't even go there. Other purveyors gutted my wallet before I could even darken their door.

LimeGrener...I have some inflatable friends over here. But they stay in the house.

StankeeWhiskeyPapa...Got two pairs. Bam.

Anonymous said...

"GF" stuff not good for either of you.

Anonymous said...

No, not your shoes, her shoes!

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