Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Early Festivus-Call Out The 501st Belgian Cavalry

A quick flight back home to repack the bag and we are off again. I should have stayed in either Philly or Boston but I wanted to be back in my own bed for a night. Those of you who travel know what I mean. And no you idiot-that's not National Airport carpet. That's the carpet in my house.
I did have to shove a bunch of clothes down to the end in order to find my way into said bed.
Jumped back on the plane in the Eagle university stripe from yesterday but this time we manifested waist pageantry in early recognition for Festivus. Everyone in my family wears the red Festivus belt during the season but I just felt a randy ass craving being flung on me to bust the bad boy out early and let me tell you-it goes with nothing. Just how I like to roll-keep ‘em guessing. “Is that his mamma’s belt or his sister’s…and how ‘bout them bedroom slippers?” I was just caught in the tentacles of circumstance and this is what ended up walking out the door to National Airport.
Levis 501-Belgian fellowship for the rest of the rig and boys let me tell you-we are gonna have a talk pretty soon about jeans. If you are over forty years old and are wearing anything but good ole 501s chances are that people are laughing at you. I’ve got some Lucky Brand jeans and cords but you gotta be careful. Nothing says mid life crisis man trying to play young like an ill suited pair of jeans. When in doubt dial 501-501-501.
Flusser three button cavalry twill suit. Flap breast pocket and bellows patch pockets. Double vented and tougher than Kevlar. I’ll wear the suit tomorrow and the coat with a pair of 15 year old Polo corduroys on Friday. Stand back and shut up.
I love how the trad-sartorial twerps go on and on about how déclassé and pedestrian it appears when you leave one of your hand felled sleeve buttons unbuttoned. Get over it. I’m a redneck from South Carolina. This is how we roll. If my boys over at Flusser didn’t rein me in I’d have fuzzy dice hanging off of the ass end of this rig. Maybe I'll put a nipple ring in the chest piece. I haven’t this week crossed paths with anyone in four different airports who had the sartorial presence to even determine if I was breaking a rule or not. Be quiet.
Seriously-this is a dying art-a focus and devotion to hand craftsmanship that in LFGs lifetime will see nobody left with the skills to do this level of handwork. I’ve mentioned before that those in the know speculate that there are fewer than twenty people left in Gotham who can do hand felled button holes really well. To that end if you mess with me I’ll have the next one (when I can afford another coat-twenty years maybe) made with seventeen sleeve buttons and I’ll unbutton ten of ‘em.
I love bellows or poacher pockets. I used to put LFG in one of them when she was a baby. Breast pocket flap is usually reserved for odd jackets and overcoats but I tried to break every rule possible when building this baby.
Now on to Sky Mall again. I found something that I might be interested in when I again perused this Bouillabaisse of bullsh*t. To the left of our Back Buddy is a neck stretcher thang. I’m considering it.

Onward. With John Wayne and The Cavalry....ADG


ScottyAlexander said...

Can't beat the 501's. The coat's incredible. You're absolutely right, nobody makes them so well now. Luckily for me, I found an damn near ancient Brooks jacket last week of similar quality that will stick with me for years.

The Whole Gang said...

well done, yet again...Had to check my closet to make sure those weren't MY Belgians. I do believe in Cavalry twill, not so sure about those poaching pockets, but you can explain those to your maker in the next life. I am actively looking for another cavalry / covert twill suit. My last one has shrunk in the closet. Suggestions?

Anonymous said...

I subscribe to the notion that your modus operandi of dress consists of personal style, silent protest,intimidation,& WTH. Stronger than an acre of garlic. Good to see Capt. Nathan Brittles, Sgt. Tyree, & C Troop courtesy of Mr. Ford. Lest we forget.

Elizabeth said...

Just hooted with laughter in a conference reading your redneck suit interpretations.

Am in acres of subdued pinstripe - won't bother sharing...


Rasputin said...

"tentacles of circumstance"
and "Bouillabaisse of bullshit"- there's two phrases I'm steraling!

DAM said...

ADG: 501's are all well and good, but what got the ole POTUS in trouble earlier this year. I want you to try on Levi's 514 and tell me your world hasn't changed.

They rise is a bit lower, but have the same great straight fit. Give them a world. They'll even look sick with those Belgians and other "house slippers" you're always proselytizing (in a good way and rightly so).

Ari said...

At the airport, I hope you wore extra low invisible socks, and not riding your shoes bareback. Wouldn't want to walk barefoot on National's floor near security.

Brian said...

I think fuzzy dice could be the new pocket square.

The Blushing Hostess said...

Glad to see you are in rare form, ADG. Nothing lost to those tentacles, that's for sure.

Gail, in northern California said...

He came roaring back...

I have a feeling you're just hitting your stride and we're in for some doozies.

Just the notion of you sitting in an airline terminal, waiting for the boarding announcement, taking pictures of your clothes and shoes, cracks me up. Your writing later is icing.

HGB said...

As regards jeans for the over 50, Carhartt traditional fit my man, Carhartt traditional fit. Trust me on this.

tintin said...

You can take the man outta S.C. but you can't...

Well, you know the rest. While most folks in S.C. think an affectation is an Italian sports car - - you should know better.

Unbuttoned sleeves are vulgar. In the army they cut off any button that's not buttoned. Beware, I carry a Case pocket knife.

Easy and Elegant Life said...

I don't even know where to buy 501's anymore. You speak sense denim-wise.

That suit coat is fantastic! I think it very John Steed'ish with that flap breast pocket. Good stuff.

Oh, I make sure and wear my surgeon's cuffs when I have to have some lab work done. I just unbutton and roll up the jacket and the shirt sleeve. But not many of mine are trumpet cut... yet. The other day I changed a young woman's tire using the same sleeve technique.

It's the little things that bring a smile to my face.

ADG said...

Whole Gang Member…I ain’t ‘splainin’ nothing to the maker…he’s good with bellows pockets. I’d say that made to measure bunch out of England that you mentioned to me would be a good place to start looking for covert/twill.

Anonymous…yep…you’ve kinda summed it up. Not much intimidation but the rest is spot on.

Elizabeth…hope you made it home ok. I died eleven times in my meeting-before I presented.
Rasputin…I’d be honored if you lifted my phrases.

Dam…I think the Lucky Brands that I have cover that 514 thing…right? Also, keep in mind that I’m twenty years older than you.

Ari….nope…no socks. I’m not ‘fraid of the gnarly floor at the airport.

Brian…I’m gonna give the fuzzy dice a go when I get home. Stay tuned for the pictures.

Blushing….how’s the move?

Gail…I got nothing else to do but take pictures of myself in the airport. I am a lonely and listless man-until I get LFG tomorrow afternoon.

HGB…I agree.

Tintin…don’t make me use my Pimp Hand on your ass.

Elegantologist…thanks as always. Great story about the utility of your surgeon’s cuffs.

Paul said...

PowerPoint presentations - hell, that was my week this week. Could only make it go away with vodka/lime/ice!!

Got a new boss that's a man-bitch!

ADG-you look great!

And holy smoke!-- Yes 501s only!

You da man!