Thursday, October 22, 2009

Medicaid and Butt Implants-TaTa

 I’m on the homestretch folks. You know how it feels when it’s been a week since you’ve hugged your kid(s)? I land at National Airport tomorrow and go straight to soccer practice and fetch LFG for the weekend. I miss her so much I can’t stand it and I’ll relish my weekend with her. She and her peers took the first round of standardized math tests today. 

No Child Left Behind and the law of unintended consequences will be the topic of another post sometime soon. These teachers are caught between a rock and a hard place with regard to teaching versus “teaching to the test”. Stop me now or this is gonna turn into an elementary school parent activist post.

LFG and her mom saw Julie and Julia a while back and LFG begged to go see Julia Child’s kitchen at the Smithsonian. I was only too happy to oblige. When we returned home LFG prepared with a little help from ADG…. Coq Au Vin. Thanks to your Federal tax dollars we have the greatest museums in the world just a train ride away. Merci.

I am not exaggerating when I say that I sat from eight this morning until three this afternoon before I presented. I had to endure at least two hundred PowerPoint slides before I was on. You can only drone on for so long on Medicaid reimbursement and if job justification is indexed to the number of slides in a deck-these fruit loops I listened to today are safe for another thousand years. Ban PowerPoint-it’s one of the first things I’m gonna do as President-after we regulate the use of Spandex.

So I had plenty of time to take phone pictures of random stuff-including this bullet proof twill contrivance I’m sporting for this jaunt. Polo striped support hose link the twill trou to the Belgians. Nice carpet no?

Here’s a dreadful shot of the poacher pockets. Apple rightfully so, isn’t focused on phone camera quality in the iPhone.

Extra long barrel cuff on my horizontal striped dress shirt. I get bored with conventional contrivances so I’ve learned to even tart up my dress shirts with fuzzy dice.

Monogrammed horizontal stripe-getchaself one or two.

And if your dirty clothes pile isn't fraught with monograms-well I just don't know what's gonna become of you.

No waistband behind the side tabs. Cleaner look and again-I gotta make these rigs a little bit dodgy. Mission accomplished.

Dontcha think?

Ok…somebody’s gotta come and take the Sky Mall catalogue away from me. I could create a separate blog about this crazy stuff. This next offering that I landed on had me trippin. Here we go…  “Honey, does my butt look too big in these jeans? Not big enough baby, go put your butt pads in and let’s roll.” Help me.

Oh, and I’ve cornered another separated at birth from Vanity Fair. My good buddy Elegantologist channels the great line draftsman and Punch Illustrator Phil May.

Our Man in Richmond

The Inimitable Mr. Phil May

Ok, I’ve gotta say some prayers and hit the hay. My Johnny Guitar Watson offering has no relevance to this post-I just believe that at least one of my posits should resurrect this greatest ode to padded butts.

Onward. Tatatingly


Richard said...

I just absolutely love your style! You are the man! Belgians awesome, and the, awesome!

The Sluice Box said...

I enjoy wearing the same pair of Belgian shoes as in your photo. Whenever I wear them in California they remind me of my favorite part of NYC. I especially like that they're only available in that little store on E 55th.

Rasputin said...

“Honey, does my butt look too big in these jeans? Not big enough baby, go put your butt pads in and let’s roll.”
Man, you must have microphones in my house...!

Elizabeth said...

Julia Childs, coq au vin and soccer. You are a fantastic father.
Bon weekend!

Kathy said...

Love the side-tabs-- lots better than a belt for a lady's waistband too. Especially if one can't find one's butt pads to help hold things up.

Patsy said...

safe travels home to your baby girl.

if there is a woman alive who wants her butt to look bigger, she is not in my cohort.

James said...

Oh man the memories of power point presentations! You and your carpool mates have agreed to stop at the Hooters you passed on the way in ( because the wings are so good) if we get out by 4:00. 5 to 4 "any questions? and the pencil-necked SOB in the back raises his hand!! ARRGGG!
I think I'll check and make sure I'm still retired.
I wish I could go back and enjoy again with my own the memories you and your daughter are making. I wish you joy.

tintin said...

Power cooking, power point, power cheeks, power pants and power to the people. I smell a theme. Or a better head line.

I was stuck in that bottom part of the Lincoln tunnel -- the part that's lower than whale shit -- while the Golf Foxtrot freaked out and demanded to get out of the car. I kept wishing I had a Edward Green box to put her in. Safe travels and stay...awesome.

Giuseppe said...

Next time you travel to Boston, bring a trash bag full of crazy Flusser stuff that you don't want anymore and donate it to the Goodwill. That way, I can buy it all and blog about the jammin' things you can find at the thrift.

Please...I beg you...

ADG said...

Richard…thanks man. I’m ready to see your houndstooth suit rigged up. Show us.

Sluice…yep. I feel the same way when I’m home in South Carolina except for a little twist in the thought….”if I wear these to the 7-11 will I get my ass beat?”

Rasputin…yes. I speak for everyman!

Elizabeth... Thanks. And to you!

Kathy….yep. I suppose it could be high drama if one misplaces their butt pads. There would be trouble in the home if they were subsequently found “on” hubby.

Patsy...Thanks. Yes, I hear you regarding your cohort. That’s why I almost fell out when I saw the offering.

James...thanks for the most sublime of sentiments…joy. Grabbing a nine year old kid for a weekend of frolic erased immediately the urge to kill that the pencil-necked SOBs inspire. It’s all good.

tintin...You already know that I can’t sustain the attention to campaign a theme. It just ain’t in me. The Lincoln….sounds like Gulf-Foxtrot was completely undone ‘cause gettin’ out of the car is always a bad idea.

Giuseppe...I’m gonna hold you to lunch when I’m back up and have the time to take a break. What sizes do you wear?

Tickled Pink And Green said...

Oh yes, you do look very Mr. Spy Print. And you also look like Kevin Kline in that picture!

Easy and Elegant Life said...

My goodness. And thank you. And I wish I had a cigar right about now.

Nice post, remind me, why do I do this again? You've got it down in spades. I'm reading and learning.