Monday, November 2, 2009

Jesus-Indians and Contraceptive Co-Pays

I don’t think Jesus minds too much if we miss the Handlin’ for good reason. The cocktail flu ain’t really a strong enough reason to not go and get a dose but the real flu probably gets you off the hook. If ever there was a time when you just might get bitten-it might be when you are throwing off some viral juju. A sip of strychnine out of the Mason jar though-might do you good.

I got dressed in an attempt to go but just didn’t have the stamina. So I had fellowship at home-with DayQuil. I leave tomorrow for another round of airports-hotels-meeting rooms and carpet reviews so I’ve gotta rest up. Besides-dressing right now in the mid-Atlantic area is no easy feat. The temps can vary as much as thirty degrees so it’s no man’s land regarding consistent requirements for fabric and clothing weight. And it’s been misty-rainy here as well.

Brittons was the bomb…as kids would say today. I don’t exaggerate when I say that their Main Street store in Columbia S.C. circa 1985 was as tasty as any haberdashery you would find in Gotham. It was nothing short of a miniature Polo Mansion. This was also a time when you could only buy Polo in a few places in S.C. and Brittons had the best of the best from the Polo line. They also had a taste level that allowed the creation of private label stuff that so mimicked the look of Polo-plebes like me could actually afford a few things. They did a ton of well customized Hertling and they styled stuff from Country Britches that to this day-I can visualize. I didn’t have the money to buy anything Polo at regular price back then but I was first in line for their sales twice a year.

It never really gets what I call “tweedy cold” in South Carolina so many of us who were trying to sport that classic Polo look back then did so mid January in a pool of sweat. It just didn’t get cold enough to wear head to toe tweed and flannel. I wore it anyway-surprised?

My company also demanded that we wear suits so tweed sportcoat were nonexistent in my closet. But then I walked in and spied this bullet proof baby.

I call it bullet proof because after almost 25 years of accompanying me around the world-this coat remains as pristine today as when I bought it-at half price-for the stunning sum of one hundred and eighty dollars.

I was making 29k back then as a hospital rep for a drug company-that was a lot of dough…for the coat and for a 24 year old kid to bring home each year.

I had never seen pockets like this. Mainly because I’d never seen The Shooting Party or any Merchant Ivory stuff or read any English explorer biographies like Mallory or had never seen turn of the century golf photographs. They stood out kinda funny but I liked them. The stiffness of this fabric made them stand out even more.

I even closed the throat-wind latch on this baby one day when it became a ...brrrr chilly 58 degrees. Almost did that auto-asphyxiation thang on myself before I could get it undone. Ever been in a situation where calling 911 was not out of the question but not so much that before dialing-you had enough presence of mind to realize how embarasing it was going to be when the arrived? This was one of two times I've been caught in those tentacles. The other was when I accidentally zipped up my ........

Some of the Mallory team....I can hear them now..."Hey guys-before we attempt Everest-lets swing by Brittons in Columbia South Carolina and get kitted out for the climb"!

Never have I owned such a versatile coat. Jeans-earth tone cords-gray flannels-seersucker-gingham-lycra…it goes with everything! In my attempt to make it to fellowship, I paired it with a fifteen year old pair of Polo cords and brown suede brogues.

What’s the oldest thing in your clothing cupboard? Speaking of cupboards-LFG turned in her first of four book projects the other week. The Indian in the Cupboard was her choice for project uno. She had a choice of making a shadow box-a book cover or an advertising poster to accompany the more thorough written report to be turned in. I love working with her on the right brain projects. I struggle to help her with the left brain stuff-I had to hire a tutor to get me through grad school statistics. I is a Liberal Arts man.

LFG knocking out another page or two of The Indian in the Cupboard post Cotillion last month. My mother had to knock my a_s out to get me to read anything at that age.

So LFG decides on creating a book cover. We find some clip art to her liking. I print our various sized for her and then she goes to work.

I really thought it was cool when she suggested that we put the little Indian in the side pocket of Omri’s pants. Cool no?

Ok….gotta get to work here. No chemotherapy strategies today. I’m down-market with perplexing issues regarding women’s contraception and hormone replacement. Still blows my mind that the cash out of pocket co-pays for oral contraceptives are often times higher than the co-pays for Viagra. That’s logical right? Being the father of an only child-a budding woman…should turn any man into a feminist to some degree.

Onward-With little Indians-And Big Tweedy Bellows Pockets-And Higher Co-Pays


ELS said...

Indian in the Cupboard is genius - bet you had a blast doing that project.

I think the danger of you becoming a feminist is pretty remote at this point, but if you need a reading list, give me a shout.

Do hope that you're feeling better today anyway.

M.Lane said...

I have even more tweedangst than you since I live on the Gulf Coast. I still have one or two great tweed jackets like yours though. Just in case someone with a plantation in Thomasville invites me for a shooting party...

Great post.

Ari said...

Oldest thing in my closet: bird's eye charcoal gray suit, circa 1990, purchased for my first job, where suits had to be worn at all times. Jacket had no vent (tacky, these days) and long, athletic drop - another late-80's "innovation." Gage Menswear, Baltimore. When the tailor altered the waist, he forgot to put back the rear belt loop. Couldn't, for the life of me, figure out why my belt never sat properly. Still wear it very occasionally today, as the wool quality is barely ok (100s probably), and the silhouette and cut is close to my ideal - trim.

Pigtown-Design said...

I keep thinking my eyes are really bad, but then realize it's your pictures!

Enough whinging... the oldest thing in my closet is a norwegian sweater that's practically knit from iron filings. I've had it for years and bought it at a church jumble sale for about $1.00. It's super-heavy weight and even on the coldest days, I can wear it with a cashmere t-neck and be toasty warm.

ScottyAlexander said...

You're spot on about this bipolar weather. Here in WV, my closet's a mixed-season mess - having worn a linen blazer two days ago and a tweed one yesterday. I've hardly seen such a great wardrobe staple as that coat of yours! I'm out to shop for some new - and by new I mean old - tweeds after this.

Richard said...

An awesome jacket - though I do question the seersucker? Have you worn seersucker with this heavy tweed. I am not knocking it at all, I just wanted to know if you truly did that. If so, cool!

Ari said...

In all the excitement, I neglected to say, "You closed your zipper prematurely?? For real?" Ouch.

So, Something About Mary was based on a true story?

Patsy said...

Oddest things in my cupboard are my Dad's Army pants (Korean War issue) and a sweater my Dad bought my Mom in Bulgaria when she was pregant with one of us. I still wear both - sometimes together.

ADG said...

ELS...I read Betty Friedan years ago.


Ari...funny. And yes-I did the zipper thang.

Meg...I love you but shut up. About the pickchurs.

Scotty...yep...the weather's crazy.

Patsy..nice story. are the most gullible mother effer in the world!

Easy and Elegant Life said...

Feel better.

Gotta love the throat latch on that coat.

Let's see, you mean my own clothes, not the vintage stuff or the inherited? Still in use? Harris Tweed, 3/2 with a throat latch. Given to me by an uncle junior year of high school. For those who are counting, that would have been 1983.

Easy and Elegant Life said...

Feel better.

Gotta love the throat latch on that coat.

Let's see, you mean my own clothes, not the vintage stuff or the inherited? Still in use? Harris Tweed, 3/2 with a throat latch. Given to me by an uncle junior year of high school. For those who are counting, that would have been 1983.

Kathy said...

The oldest thing in my closet is a gray leather jacket from Georgetown Leather. Circa 1981. The leather is like butter. The color has faded a bit here and there, but that just adds to the charm. Bomber style, thankfully not too heavy on the shoulder pads. I was too fat to wear it for a number of years, but I'm so glad I held on to it to be able to wear it again now.

Kathy said...

Ooops! The really oldest thing in my closet is a fancy dress my grandmother wore in the '30s. Black satin sheath that hooks on to the brassiere (still intact), with a black lace over dress and short jacket. I need to be invited to the right kind of New Year's Eve party. . .

Scott said...

I have no less than three shetland sweaters that date back to the 70's. One's a Pendleton, and the other two were gifts from an extravagant aunt who shopped at Saks Fifth Avenue. They are many times repaired, but still worn regularly. They must have stretched or something.

Would Brittons perchance have had a satellite store in the Greenville Mall? I think I recall shopping there on the eve of my nuptuals. It wasn't Polo Mansion nice, but better than average, I recall.


Richard said...

I don't consider myself gullible, just curious! You said the word seersucker, and considering that some of the greats were famous for breaking rules.......I thought you might have tried it.

ADG said... I feel bad for picking on you.

Scott....nope. All four of the Brittons stores were in Columbia.

Anonymous English Female said...

Oldest thing in my closet? an embroidered silk young man's jacket dating from about 1820. I found it in the bazaar in Esfahan, Iran, it's much, much loved. Up until a couple of years ago oldest new thing was a 25 year old navy wool reefer with brass buttons that constituted part of my school uniform. Not so much loved, hence I got rid of it.

ADG said...

Anon Eng....I'd love to see a picture of the 1820's coat!

Jack Floyd said...

I remember a great ad for modern technical climbing clothing that started out "Clad only in ventile cotton and tweed, Mallory and Irvine climbed into the mist at 27000 feet, and into legend"

AlanC said...

I used to browse Brittons back in grad school at USC. I couldn't afford anything, either, although I did buy a couple of Hanauer bow ties, even ordered one at a genuine Hanauer trunk show where I met Mr. Hanauer. Of course, I still really couldn't afford to shop there...

Anonymous said...

I still wear a leather jacket that my husband bought at a vintage store in 1993. We were skating in the Public Garden in Boston (back when you could skate there if you brought a shovel and cleared it yourself, before the "Frog Pond" was deemed the skating venue of Starbucks totesters)and he did a little trick (I swear he's straight)that caught the eye of two fellows who kept yelling "Look at that jacket!!!Look at that jacket!!!).

So anyway, I'm probably getting rid of him but hope to keep the jacket. He just doesn't incite the strangers screaming he used to...In fact, if I could get him off the damn front porch with his crossword, I'd probably skate naked on the Frog Pond or Public Garden or just about anywhere...


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