The Week in Review from Renaldo Lackapoopoo.

LFG and I trust that your Holiday is going just as you want it and that you’ve scored tons of good loot! We are headed to South Carolina and the land of minimal high speed options so this post might be the only one for a while. I figured I would recap this crazy week and finish up with Santa’s visit to the Casa.

We had tickets to the almost sold out Rockettes Christmas Show last Saturday at Verizon Center in downtown D.C. The Christmas spirit was already upon us-having our tree in good form and presents accumulating underneath according to plan. But the Rockettes show was certain to send us over the Christmas Spirit edge. Butcept for the snow.

We took the train over to Verizon center. Tentatively optimistic about the performance after learning that they would indeed perform-even though the weather exquirts were calling for almost two feet of snow by early evening. No worries-as long as the trains run we can get home. LFG and her neon yellow retainer bundled up for the ride over and the great performance by those leg kicking gals.

The performance was superb even though only a hundred or so of us showed up for it. Most people had better judgement. We then get word that the trains are only running to and from the underground stops. We are hosed. Eight miles away is the Casa and we have limited options regarding how to get there. I’m not too worried about me-I’ve walked farther than that in the snow before-when my craving for a woman trumped my fear of the cold. LFG can’t walk that far though.

The lusty crusty man in me marveled at the physical specimens performing for us. May I just get this out of the way quickly? …. These girls could crack walnuts in those butts…amazing. Ok, I’ve said it. Heavenly derrière. The middle aged man in me says that they probably travel with chiropractors and physical therapists….seriously…these girls are athletes.

Amazing that Jesus made the cut!

And I'm glad to know that the little fella from the Austin Powers movies has found more work. It's all good.

The plot thickens by five in the afternoon. We hear from our friend RW, a clinical psychologist who lives with her family over two hours from DC but who sees patients in DC 2-3 days each week. The snow has essentially shut down our city and she can’t get home. No place to stay…stranded…we take her in. But in where? None of us can get home so I decide if we are going to be stranded we should do so at Union Station. Bathrooms-options for dining…we can get there because the metro stop is underground. Makes sense to me.

By now it’s cocktail time and LFG and I have to wait for RW to make her way to Union Station. One restaurant remains open so we grab a cocktail and a bite. Story of my life....blondes...cocktails...poor vision ends up costing me money...every time.

I wanted the dancing girl with the fly up-spinning dress. LFG voted me down.

Home? I’m thinkin’ we ain’t gonna get there. People who have rolled into DC via Amtrak are standing in the cab line but there are no cabs. Seriously, I’ve resigned myself to the fact that we will be sleeping-along with five hundred others-at Union Station.

Alas, the usual twenty dollar ride cost me a well spent and well deserved hundred bucks. Two college kids approached me and asked where we needed to go-after sorting them out a bit I concluded that it was a safe bet to roll with them in their very nice Jeep 4WD buggy-in which they were tracking to make about two grand for their unlicensed livery rescue efforts. I love the free market and I loved getting home with LFG and our soon to be two nights house guest safely in tow. When was the last time you spent 48 hours with a Ph.D. Psychologist in your house? God only knows her conclusions about our operation over here. I sure don’t want to know!

Two feet of snow in our ‘hood means one thing only. Sledding at the Masonic Memorial at the top of King Street.

Great hill….dangerous descent and my child has no fear...except for the common house fly. And yes-before you ask-I DID go down a few times as well.

I've been all over this hill in the last twenty years but methinks I'll just watch from now on.

I'm fairly certain that I tilted my uterus and am almost convinced that I strained my uvula.

LFG also channels George III from time to time and talks to trees.

 Christmas for LFG is a double treat. Santa visits two homes…what luck no? No American Girls babydoll stuff this year. It's all electronics and clothes. Including horizontal socks!

And two radio controlled cars. Who asked Santa for these? Give me a break. I don't have a son-that I know of.

Oh...and Santa bought me a camera. Shut up.

Before the visit though-we always have Christmas Eve dinner with her mom. Instead of the usual holiday colors, I opt for Flusser black camel hair….three two roll…flap pockets with flap ticket…peak lapels. Tattersal vest-Brethren dress shirt-straight collar with collar pin wounds evident from twenty years of pinning it-butcept for tonight. Clip on collar bars are wrong.

And speaking of wrong-I wore Ralph boiled wool needlepoint slips. I agree regarding the issue of wearing someone else's initials on your clothes-silly as hell. Butcpet for when you get Purple Label R.L. slips on ebay for next to nothing.

So for tonight-I've changed my name to Renaldo Lackapoopoo.

Santa and Allie Summersverb...great name she's got no? ... Made certain that I got a great belt in my stocking.

But now I want the lighter one too. Allie....rationalization please.

LFG rolls in with her mom to view the loot and then the Wii games begin.

LFG whipping her mom...nice. It's obvious that I own antiquated electronics as evidenced by the paltry television set accomodating the new Wii. I don't watch television very much. Shut up.

I'm on the verge of horizontality after a great day!

Merry Christmas from Old Town Alexandria. We'll try to check in from South Cackalacky.