Wednesday, June 16, 2010

HELP! Fathers Day on a Benjamin....or Less!!!

Hey Gang....
My buddy Ms. VogueRanger needs help. Father's day is right around the corner and this little lovely needs some budget faithful gift options for daddio. Gotta be betwixt a Grant and a Benjamin. She'll 'splain why in her letter below. I remain hostage on South Beach in Miami...sorting out a golden tan and crippling myself under the weight of my bling. So in the interim, I expect that y'all step up post haste and offer suggestions for the Ranger.

"ADG, SOS from the Range (or actually from across the river, ha ha).

I need some Father's Day help.  Mine has been saving up Cabelas points for years as a dowry to reward the young man that finally takes my hand, so you would think it would be that easy: close eyes, open Cabelas catalog, point. click. buy.  Not so much.  Vogue here is on a budget thanks to her own shopping iniquities (close eyes, open J.Crew catalog, point. click. buy.), so we are working within the confines of a Benjamin. Or less. More like a Grant.

Outside of blaze orange and turkey musk, what can you recommend?  Daddy on the Range moves seamlessly (like his sole offspring) from retired Navy to redneck to rodeo to roast tenderloin at 1789... but if he had to pick one, I think the boots and Wranglers will be the preferred uniform of retirement.  Given that assessment, I'm looking forward to your suggestions.

 Love from you sartorial friend,
VogueOntheRanger"

31 comments:

Turling said...

Belt buckles. http://www.cavenders.com/

Anonymous said...

He could always use a new cooler - Igloo 50 quart MaxCold Roller - $41.99 at Target. Holds 86 12oz cans.

Laguna Beach Trad said...

What is a 'Grant' and a 'Benjamin'?

SouthernProletariat said...

Not a father, but a mother offering suggestions here. Anytime funds are tight, I would go the sentimental route. Is there a memory, an shared experience that is especially poignant? Perhaps as a sportsman, you and your father have shared time fishing together? Such as, is there is an old photograph of you as a young child catching your first fish with your father? Take the photo, or copy there of, and frame it. But more importantly, write your father a letter describing how the shared experiences have impacted you and shaped you in your life. The photo, or other trinket you purchase is simply the trigger for the letter which will be the real treasure...

Young Fogey said...

Ammo.

LPC said...

My answer is, "Slippers." But then, with regards to my father, the answer is always slippers.

ADG said...

Thanks all.

LBT...come on man!

Scott said...

Don't buy him clothes or anything personal. Trust me. I know your dad's type. Hell, I AM your dad's type. He has preferences concerning his personal stuff, and other people probably just don't get it. The sentimental stuff as described by Southern Proletariat is great,but so is a plain old gift card from Cabela's or somewhere that sells tools. Or ammo. Combine the two for full effect.

Scott

Anonymous said...

Ooooo! I love sharing! Thanks for asking!

While it may be too late to order online, I love this eco-friendly Michigan company - particularly their Kitty Hawk Flyer for about $40 bucks

Also, if he likes to grow things - or if the family wants to get it started for/with him - this carniverous plant terrarium
from ThinkGeek.com for $25 is killer. Sadly they're out of stock right now, but they're expecting more soon; so, since it's a delayed gratification gift anyhow, seems like it'd be a fair one for giving the "picture" with the 3-D version to come.

In this little girl's opinion: I think that any Father's Day gift that ends up with an interactive component that families can share is the best sort.

Best wishes for a happy occasion! - Anon

Thad said...

Books! They are generally my fall-back gift for any holiday, birthday, or special event. You can always find a book that someone will like/use.

DAM said...

I did a whole run of under $100 gifts (mostly) that I think fit any bill. She can check it out over on ole SG: http://www.southerngentblog.com/2010/06/sggiftguide-fathers-day-2010.html

cdclaycomb said...

Aladdin Stanley make a flask that looks like the old green thermoses. It won't leak, fits in a fishing or hunting vest nicely and will wow any crusty, un-wowable codger.

That, and a pint of good bourbon with which to fill it was the husband's favorite stocking stuffer for Christmas.

The flask is around $20, use the rest for the bourbon.

Patsy said...

My father has completely given up on wish lists and now asks for scratch tickets.

My husband will get a dunkin donuts card.

Hey, it's what they want.......

DMT said...

Maybe a vintage duck decoy:

http://www.oldwoodenduckdecoys.com/
http://www.vintageduckdecoysforsale.com/

If he's a sailor get a map of where he usually sails and get it framed. vintage is always good, and although these are generally above your price range, there is a nice one of Annapolis for a couple of Jacksons:

http://www.gracegalleries.com/chesapeake_listings.htm

Jules said...

The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness. For he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know I am the LORD when I lay my vengeance upon you!

Some handlin' for yo' ass.

Bill said...

Does he have a good knife? If not, Col. Littleton is your answer.

Anonymous English Female said...

ADG - do me a favour too and answer LBT's question. I'm heading Stateside before too long and the ability to discern a 'Grant' from a 'Benjamin' may prove useful. (New iphone apps??)

SouthernProletariat said...

Anon...A Grant refers to a $20 bill (has Pres. Grant's picture on it). A Benjamin is a $100 dollar bill (similarily with Ben Franklin's Picture)

Summer is a Verb said...

My vote's for the ammo. That, the cooler and the knife. All good in my book. Cabela's huh? Sounds like you come by your good taste honestly Lacey. My father is getting another Farmington CC baseball cap. The original was stolen. But we're talking a Jackson now...XXOO

Anonymous said...

Listening to rap music a bit too much lately, ADG?

~Hilton

Laguna Beach Trad said...

Leather cocktail harness.

A pair of racing tortoises.

Anonymous said...

ADG --

Who are these people? (And who are their people?)

Benjamin Franklin is on the $100 bill. U.S. Grant is on the $50 bill.

(Who's reading this blog???? Poor people -- or worse, Europeans?)

Gail, in northern California said...

The Kershaw pocket knives. Between $25 and $35. Our daughter gave one to her Dad and had it engraved "Dad" on one side; "Love, Lisa" on the other side. It sets there with his tablet and pencil below his monitor. He dares anyone to touch it. One of his treasures.

A.E.F. said...

SouthernProletariat - Thank you. Srikes me if someone did make Grants and Benjamins into new iphone apps it would enhance the point-click-buy procedure immeasurably...

SouthernProletariat said...

sorry...A.E.F.- the other Anon has it quite right. I never carry cash, EVER, so I was going off of memory.

And Anon, I may be poor, yes...(the term Proletariat is used for a reason- google it) but at money can be gained over the course of a life. Other things cannot, sadly.

ADG said...

Good Morning everyone...I've been waaay too busy to comment on your great suggestions and comments so this is my "global-comprehensive-general" response....THANKS for the great suggestions and...Anonymous...don't be hatin'. I have seventeen readers a day here on this blog and I welcome all walks and stations to stop by. This includes all colours, nationalities, gays-straights and even-God forbid-South Carolinians.

Onward

Laguna Beach Trad said...

Anon @ 10:55PM ~ Many thanks for the information. I am simply not that well versed in the urban lingo of the American underclass, which is why the obscure terms 'Grant' and 'Benjamin' eluded me, so your explanation is quite helpful.

Peace out.

ADG said...

LagunaTradMon...you were way out of bounds for suggesting the Leather Cocktail Harness and the racing tortoises. I'm sure you are aware of the tragic incident characterized in the Animal Planet documentary..."When Tortoises Turn". Three small children were devoured by purportedly "docile racers" within minutes. Made the Sigfried and Roy incident look like a mosquito bite. As for Leather Cocktail Harnesses...they are now illegal as you know, because of their use in provoking an unnatural prance when used on...Racing Tortoises.

Anonymous said...

A silver Promethius cigar lighter is my favorite gift from my son a couple of father's days ago. I use it all the time but would not spend the money on one myself.

VogueOntheRange said...

WOW, thank you all for your wealth of suggestions! I am overwhelmed, but in the meantime managed to come up with a couple of ideas of my own: Subscription to Garden & Gun http://gardenandgun.com/ and awesome Roger Tee from Ball & Buck. http://ballandbuck.com/ Think it will do the trick?

ADG said...

Vogue....wish that I'd thought about Garden and Gun...I love it and hope everyone would consider a subscription. I worry for all printed media's future.

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