Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Nary a McNairy


Mark McNairy…wonder boy of Trad-interpretation. J. Press rescue artist and G.H. Bass Master. Midsummer 2009 he taunted us with a prototypical gaggle of Weejunalia. Weejuns are the Canary in the Coalmine of all things trad-prep-classic and when someone purports to revive these classics, I’m front row-center with popcorn-Raisinettes-half a Quaalude and a quart of Bull.
Purists will cry foul at some of these interpretations. Keep in mind...there's a fine line between a Purist and Pu_ _y.
The Retentive Anti-Fuzzies will scowl at the reverse Horweens while I, of Dice Fuzzy Central, would buy those first...
...the Mongrel Camp Mocs next…
...and would finish off this G.H.-ian orgy with the navy blue tassels. Bust some navy blue polish on them to colour the non-dyed creases and crannies and I’m ready for the other half of that ‘lude. The trifecta would later be made quad if a pebble grain version was offered sans beef-roll. Beef-roll? Navy have. Never will. 
But then the curtain, after a tantalizing preview, came down. And there’s nary a McNairy. To that end, I’ll rename him Mark McSwaggart until further notice.
McSwaggart? …you might, but did not axk…because you aren’t that curious. Yes. McSwaggart. You can unwrap these G.H. evolutionary examples…leastways visually unwrap them. The onliest person I know who has actually touched these is Tintin. He fronts a blog that I ghostwrite called the Trad. But unwrapping them is where your involvement must stop. You can’t touch.
The Reverend Jimmy Swaggart swears and has repented and axked forgiveness (twice) for rendezvousing with hookers. But he promises that he didn’t touch or do the big-nasty with them. He just unwrapped them and looked. And also ministered to them. McDonalds introduced not long after the Swaggart incident, a new burger…the McSwaggart. Hell of a weight loss strategy. You buy the burger. You unwrap it…liberating the seductive siren from its paper swathing while ogling the sinful caloric offering before you. But you don’t touch it. And you damn sure don’t eat it.
Come on McNairy. I’m ready to eat me some evolutionary G.H. More than ready to gain knowledge carnal of what it feels like to throw caution to the wind and thrust my dogs into Horween backwards.
Get with it G.H. Pony up McSwaggart. Stop playing us for fools. Nobody wants your moniker retired more than A.D.G.

Onward. Unwrapping every damn thing I can get my hands on.

ADG, II


Oh and p.s. ... I started thinking about a dulcet accompaniment to my admonishment regarding being taken for a Weejun fool. Naturally I landed on the Tams. I remember my older cousins playing 45s and certainly the Tams were in the mix. So here’s one for you…

Tams…What Kind of Fool



But then I remembered that Bill Deal and the Rhondels also did a version of What Kind of Fool so here’s that one too.



And then the Spinners came up and I listened to It’s a Shame…



Just before listening to The Four Tops…I’ll Turn to Stone. I’m back at the KA House.



But we can’t have a party without The O’Jays so here’s Backstabbers….



And Love Train….



And finally… Living For The Weekend

37 comments:

LPC said...

I just want to know what substances you mainline when you write this stuff. And your source.

ADG said...

Prunella...popcorn-Raisinettes-half a Quaalude and a quart of Bull.

Scott said...

If you ax me, McNairy is a weird MoFo. You can have those funny looking shoes, but I WILL take the records. I personally like Bill Deal's "I've Been Hurt" better than the Mighty Mighty Tams'. Delightfully cheesy polka beat organ on that one.

Scott

Preppy 101 said...

Your blog is an ounce of Alzheimer's Prevention - requires the Most concentration on my part and I'm a pretty darn smart cookie. ;-) hehe Love the music. Let's dance! The best dancing is done in Weejuns. I'm in your part of the world this week! Groovin' in Potomac. xoxo

Laguna Beach Fogey said...

Odd shoes for the most part, though I like a few of them.

McNairy is a curious chap. Sound haircut and solid specs.

Still, your comments bring to mind the cover version of 'Ain't That Peculiar' performed by my New Romantic chums Japan:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nkimBwFa02c

Nelle Somerville said...

Of course you are a KA!!! My brother is a KA from Ole Miss, gosh a mighty! Love, love, love the music.

yoga teacher said...

Oh, Good Lord. I don't understand a word of this post. Maybe it's the wine we drank after yoga class? Maybe it's you! But diggin' the music.

Gerard said...

ADG,

My friend, this is exactly what I have been thinking. In the lex of the day "where's the beef?" Where be my McWeejuns? Some sort of Meretricious ethos. I saw those pics when they came out and I have been keeping the powder dry to get me a pair but . . . . .

yoga teacher said...

And if you're really brave, try playing them all at the same time!

Young Fogey said...

McNairy has some hits and some misses with his modern reinterpretations--that's only to be expected. After all, not only was Babe Ruth the Home Run King, he was also the Strike-Out King. The more you swing, the more you miss.

But it'd still be nice if his shoes were actually available for purchase.

Maybe it's one of those "elite" things, where there's "limited availability" so as to sucker more people into wanting and buying.

Marketing 101, doncha know.

But I can't say I care for the way he dresses, or fails to shave.

Main Line Sportsman said...

Forget the shoes...you score big with the Motown and related Soul....my kinda stuff.
Well, I do covet the brown suede pair 3rd from left in first picture

garden and gun said...

would wear those Weejuns out in The Spanish Galleon at O.D. and The Beach Club on Hwy.17....great shoes, great tunes, great memories....Thanks

RHW said...

Ain't nothing wrong with the beefroll ADG, never was. You can rock the 'roll you're just scared. Come on man, say "yes" to the beefroll loafer and "no" to those outside in Horweens...they remind me of the huge pattern LV logo'd leather jackets they wear at Underground Atlanta.

RHW

longwing said...

As a 13C I find McNairy's work interesting but irrelevant. He's quite the talker but I wish he'd put his balls on the line and start a proper shoe company. Until then ...... will, I'm not sure there's all that much to tinkering with classic designs

Suburban Princess said...

I must have some fuzzy dice genes in my because I saw the reverse Horweens and thought...YEAH BABY! But the crocs definately had me swooning.

Anonymous said...

Yo ADG don't be hatin' da beefroll loafer.

Fatfriend.

TWJ said...

I want me some damn blue tassels and some spec tater ones too. I was really looking forward to these; I even asked the sales clerk at the Bass store in Williamsburg if she knew when they would arrive. I knew as soon as she gave me that “what is he talking about?” look I was SOL.

Now, Swaggart?!, my mama would kill me dead, I mean, really K-I-L-L me dead if I said anything bad about him. That will have to be a “WTF was he thinking” discussion for a later day. I have to be careful, she might be checking up on me with that “mother hearing” while I type…

Anonymous said...

Well. I'd go with the navys. Great tunes. Reminds me of my brother. He was a great dancer. His babysitter taught him to dance when he was 10. "If you're going to get the girls, you GOT to know how to dance, Little Boy." I remember him doing the V-T. What the NorCali kids were dancing in those days. I also remember that it was very important that his socks matched his tie when he would go to dances. Skinny red tie and red socks. Thanks for another lovely blog post. It's early here. Couldn't sleep. Got some damn text in the wee hours that woke me up. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ghFBvBmXv4E

Anonymous said...

Does McNairy have his pants on backwards? That might explain pretty much everything...
Brigid

Anonymous said...

Brigid! I was thinking the same thing!

Kathie Truitt said...

I just love you - seriously!

Patsy said...

I think his watch is on backwards too!

Flo said...

Mark is hot standing there wearing serious eyes and a full blown GTH costume, even so that's one of the most beautifully rolled collars I've seen in a long time. I have unlimited mercy but if the collar rolls wrong, no. Levi brings me to tears every time.

Anonymous said...

And while I'm nitpicking this poor guy to death...supp' with the tie clip? It's wandered north a good 5-6 inches from it's rightful spot. Then again maybe it's not a tie clip at all...maybe it's a pen clipped BACKWARDS on his tie.

Toad said...

Maybe their finally serious with the GH SS 2011 line. I still doubt it

Main Line Sportsman said...

On second review..that guy in the picture looks like the remedial math teacher at a 2nd rate public school....who may or may not have a bag of sourballs in his glove box.

ADG said...

Scott….cheesy polka beat organ stuff that the more you drink…the better it sounds.

Preppy 101…Damn…is it that much of a puzzle to read? Potomac? LFGs soccer game is in Potomac Saturday morning. Be there or be square. Blissful weather today no?

LagunaFogeyMon…yes, odd is a good characterization for them! And the New Romantics….thanks for passing that along. They sound like Spandau Ballet after taking the other half of my ‘lude.

Nelle Somerville…Fried Chicken-Country Ham-Kappa Alpha….yes ma’am.

yoga teach me … It’s not you; it’s me…and the wine. Namaste. Oh and Ps…Playing them all at the same time while doing tittibhasana…now that’s the trick. And yes, I can do it.

Gerard...Honestly, I don’t think Bass has the stones to move forward with many of these. I think it’s out of McNairy’s hands. I’m reminded clearly, of what GH Bass is today, every time I go in their Outlets and see the plasticized Weejuns for sale.

FogeyYoungHarvest….I agree with everything but the “elite…let’s create scarcity” speculation. See my comments above to Gerard. And I haven’t shaved in a week.

Main Line Sporty … I’m with you on the music and the shoe choice.

garden and gun…yes! But the OLD Spanish Galleon.

RHW…hear me and hear me now. I do not wear beef roll loafers. It’s an Eddie Haskell Wally Cleaver affectation. And there ain’t never been any shell cordovan near Underground ATL.

Longwingist…Indeed. A 13-C man is best advised to stick close to what our friends at Alden and/or Quoddy serve up. But you knew that. RE his balls? See my comment to Gerard. I don’t think it’s him.

SuburbanPrincessssssssss….But the crocos would cost more than my mama’s first house.

AnonymousFatFriend….See my RHW comment and I mean it!

TWJ …You knew better than to axk at the Williamsburg Outlet didn’t you? And my mama and yourn are two in a pod re Swaggart.

AnonymousNorCal…YES. The same thing happened to me. I got to college and realized if I could learn the ritual dance, more girls would talk to me.It was ALL about the girls. Shit, it still is.

Brigid…Probably. I didn’t even wear any to the office today. Knee socks, lace up dress shoes. No pants.

Kathie Truitt…I’m telling Mr. Jaybird.

Patsy…Y’all are piling on the old boy.

Flo…If that’s hot, then I’m unbearable…heat wise. And yes, Levi was a sage.

AnonymousNitPicker…..No mercy for the guy…y’all are tough!

Toad…I don’t believe it.

Main Line Math Teacher…It was “Mr. Elvington” in my school.

yoga teacher said...

Careful how you pronounce that!

ADG said...

yogalinguist...it's "tee-tee" ... with an emphasis on the second "tee" ... leastways that keeps me outta pronunciation trouble.

Flo said...

No, TEE'-tee has the emphasis on the first syllable, where you from is, anyway[-s]?

Bingin on Levi with Shiraz this evenin: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5R8BZ7Noac4

ilovelimegreen said...

I had a brilliant comment ready and then, ADG, your forced me to listen to "Love Train" and I forgot what that song does to me....it will take a bit to recompose myself.

Dad said...

Levi not only had the greatest voice in Motown, he once helped me impress the woman who became my wife

Preppy 101 said...

ADG!! - I'll have to be square. I'm at TPC Potomac at Avenel Farm. But I'll be back! It would be so fun though :-( xoxo

Easy and Elegant Life said...

I'd buy at least six of those ... as long as there is no beef roll. I'm with you on that one.

I've still got two pair of suede Weejuns -- "copper" (sort of sage really) and tan. Got to be 15 years old and going strong. Now if I could only add a navy tassel to the lot.

Officer & Southern Gent said...

Those blue suede tassel numbers in the middle are hideous. Perkins and Presley would avoid 'em and so should purists. Especially if they are interested in that other p word you mentioned earlier.

I'll agree with you on the beef-rolls...they take the sleekness out of the loafers, and make them seem a bit less refined.

Anonymous said...

Tams trivia: "Hey Girl Don't Bother Me" reached #41 on the U.S. "Pop" chart in 1964. In September 1971 it reached #1 on the U.K. & Eire singles charts. Go figure.

Ta'er

ADG said...

Taytaytayter....Yes. And I saw the Tams a million years ago. Joe Pope was taking oxygen between songs.

Officer....well said about the blue suedes.

Eleganto...I cannot find my old pebble/scotch grains from college. Sad.

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