Thursday, March 24, 2011

Ultrasuede and the AMC Pacer

Damn. They deserve each other. I was thumbing through one of those large coffee table books here in my W Hotel room in Boston and discovered this picture. And it transported me back to the 1970’s. The pocked epoch. 
It wasn't my fault that I became big enough to finally go to the men’s department in the seventies and the trauma of what was awaiting me there began coursing through my veins…washing over my natural fibered carcass as I gandered that picture.
Ultrasuede...I don’t care if that boy Frowick aka Halston went wild with the stuff…contorting the synthetic sueded petroleum to manifest outfits for women. The stuff was and is…wrong.


And wrong in a zillion colors. Shut up.
And the Pacer? Even Toad didn’t succumb to anything nearly as absurd. He stopped at the Vega Cosworth. 
I learned to drive amidst these hideous Detroit excuses but thanks be to God…my daddy saw his way to assure that my first beater was a burnt yellow/orange MG Midget. Mine was identical to this one but with wire wheels...
…and the second was a white Triumph GT-6. But then my dad had the audacity to die soon thereafter and I fell into the automobile abyss. Climbing slowly out of the absurd car fissure with the assistance of…
…my sister’s hand-me-down Ford Pinto
…then her Maverick.
And thankfully, after I was able to generate my own dough during the summer before college, a respectable Chevrolet Camaro. None of the abovementioned cars had air conditioning. This is a huge issue when the South Carolina summer rolls in on you.
But it’s obvious that I’m not quite over the 70’s—given that one photo could conjure enough cortisol to bring this little story to the surface. And how's this couple for an iconic representation of the 70's? And no, I haven't a clue who this synthetically clad pair of lovebirds is. Five gets you ten that they darted over to an AMC Pacer right after mama snapped this gem of a memory maker. One block away from home and a doobie was burnin' and the eight-track was blasting The Hues Corporation...Rock the Boat.
Thanks for letting me get this off my, quite frankly, rather nice chest. Replete this morning with W Hotel robe and a makeshift tissue pocket square. 

Onward. Rockin' the Boat...now from Boston. ADG II

18 comments:

Upwith Olives said...

Reminds me of this Braniff site with the Halston designed uniforms
http://www.braniffpages.com/1965/pic10.html

Are those cords with the groovy cap toe shoes?

Main Line Sportsman said...

Rock the Boat....well...it rocks.
Amazing you even survived the 70's if you were using a Pinto as transport.....

JMW said...

What was Halston thinking?? Blech. My mom had a gold Maverick when we were little - I can see it now. Weren't Pacers the death trap cars? Or were those Gremlins? :)

Summer is a Verb said...

I spy Lauren Hutton and Angelica Houston in that Halston ad. And, it was all about the pickup truck with big ole tires and light bars for spotlightin deer in my hood. Not an oragami tissue pocket square for miiiiles...XXOO

Barima said...

Oh yes, this is my kind of post, you delightfully cheeky fellow. My favourite part is probably the delicious reference to 'Rock The Boat'; perhaps the most tacky-but-heartfelt sonic confection known to man, followed by the knowledge that you owned a Camaro. Even the diplomatically imposing Peugeot 607 I drove in Accra last year isn't as sexy as that. Less, actually

Speaking of the 1970s, if you see today's Mode Parade entry, you'll note I picked up the Yves Saint Laurent rig you not so subtly convinced me to acquire. If there are any complaints, "ADG made me do it"

Best as usual,

B

The Devoted Classicist said...

Knowing that I am in the minority here, I think Ultrasuede has its place. And I was really entranced with the design of the Pacer, mainly because of the uniqueness, I guess; it did not turn out to be a classic, however.

Britt Sudduth said...

My Dad has 2 midgets - '63 and '73. They get treated like grandchildren! I started with a '74 Buick Station Wagon before Dad bought me a used BMW 320i. I thought the Staywag was awful, but putting time in the Pinto would be painful!

Nelle Somerville said...

Please tell me you had a green Pinto!

ADG said...

AllieVonKnowItAllDeerShiner..Angelica Houston look alike and Shelley Hack. Sorry baby, ain't no Lauren Hutton in the pic. I know...I was obsessed with Lauren Hutton. She was my crush between Marissa Berenson and Totie Fields.

yoga teacher said...

I think your dad was much cooler than mine, because mine bought me a Pinto to take to college. Unfortunately I wrecked it in the wrong college town. On a Thursday. After a year of hoofing it, he found me a car to buy with my lifeguarding money. A Vega. The only car worse than a Pinto. Well, maybe a Gremlin. My high school boyfriend drove one. The coolest guy in high school collected Corvairs, which I believe had been recently outlawed for exploding or something.

NCJack said...

My first new car, college graduation present, was a Pinto, a good idea that got all Forded up.

During law school, a friend came into the bar one day and said "good news, bad news, Mom won a car in a raffle, and I get it" so we say what could the bad news be, and he says "it's a &?%$@ Gremlin"

ADG said...

NCJack...Gremlin...only slightly less absurd than the Pacer.

YogaTeachie....My dad was kinda cool but he flamed out a little early. And Corvairs? Yes baby, they outlawed them last week I think. Yep.

Nell...my Pinto was baby blue but my Maverick was green. Sorry.

Britt...that's cool about your dad's MGs. And staywags weren't too bad. I slept every night of Spring Break my senior year of high school in a 1968 chevy wagon.

Devoted Classicist...Ultra Suede=Ultra Man.Both were tacky as hell.

Barimosity...Excellent that you got the YSL rig. I'll scoot over and take a look this weekend.

JMW..."The Golden Maverick"...I think I just discovered a new nickname for my...

MainLiner...Indeed. But the explosive Pinto was only one of many powder kegs that I continuously sat on from about age 12-34 ish.

UpOlivesandstuff....Oy.

Patsy said...

We had a 1972 yellow Pinto runabout. It was so cute, aside from the exploding thing.

They reissued the Camaro for model year 2010. It looks like a Mustang.

longwing said...

This job I had, right outa school. They gave me a Pinto to drive. I was a bad motherfucker.

Lisa said...

Enough already with the hairy chest shots. Even with the ersatz hankie/tissue, it fell short of the mark and we won't talk of it again.

I've never worn Ultrasuede (something about it being washable made me suspect), owned/drove a Pacer, Pinto or Maverick. Ahhh the Camero, the car/love of his life, of my future husband. After several months of dating he mentioned that the three loves of his life were his: #1, his car (Camero), #2, stereo (serious stuff from Germany) and #3, me. I'm here to say that the Camero has become scrap metal, the stereo is obsolete and I'm still standin'. Quality ALWAYS stands the test of time. :)

ilovelimegreen said...

My absolute disinterest in cars is compensated by my extreme enthusiasm for the Hues Corporation and "Rock the Boat". Great tune and love that dancing.

ADG said...

LimeGreen....you'd look good in a Pinto.

Lisa...we'll talk of it as much as I want to...the chest thing. It fell short of your mark...not mine baby. Sorry about the "baby" thing.

LongWang...you were not a bad mofo in a Pinto! Ain't no way...for one reason at least. You are too tall. You had to scooch the seat back all the way before you could "put the car on"

Patsy....cracks me up that they called the Pinto a "runabout"

Belle (from Life of a...) said...

A repressed memory of an ultra suede coat in one of those rust sort of colors has bubbled to the surface. Thanks SO much.

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