Friday, July 22, 2016

Ok...A Text Reply from This Morning

Thx. for tapping in.  Ok is relative, right?

So I'm not ok. By my definition. But it's good because I'm present and in the moment and dialed-in to what I deem not ok.

And there's a woman here. Still sleeping. So the monastic silence and palpable loneliness of being here by myself is gone.

I'm not lonely right now. Even though the house is monastically silent as she sleeps.

Because of the knowing.

Because knowing that she's here creates a different kind of silence. It's the peaceful and nourishing kind.  

The kind that allows me not to fear being alone with my thoughts.

The woman is sixteen. And she's learning to drive a stick shift. Fearfully. But that's ok because I'm right beside her.

She has curly hair and a suntan. And she starts her second summer at The Joffrey dance camp in New York next week.

We got rotisserie chicken and black beans and rice and cucumber salad last night. From the Peruvian couple who mind their little place ten hours a day, six days a week. They always seem more than ok.

And we ate it together sitting on the floor. In her room. Binge watching old Grey's Anatomy episodes.

So the eight minutes that I've taken to write this text has led me to see that I am. Ok.



Ok. 

12 comments:

Anonymous said...

Glad you are OK, Miss your musings, still check and today I was blessed. Thank you!

Kathy said...

I write this as I contemplate my youngest heading off to college in a month. The empty nest yawns before me like a chasm. And good for you on the stick shift. Taught both of my sons, and in a Mini Cooper too.

bluesman said...

Wonderful! We're teaching our 16 year old to drive...automatic! That's enough for now. I'll have to rent a stick shift car when she has more hours under her belt. Thank you for the insight.

Anonymous Texan said...

Every old crow thinks his is the blackest.
All the best to you and your family.

Gail, northern California said...

The happiest day of my daughter's entire life was the day she passed her driving test. I was the licensed driver who took her to DMV and got to see her face as she walked back in. Don't miss it for the world, Max.

heavy tweed jacket said...

Wonderful musings from a devoted father. Great thoughts. All the best, HTJ.

ADG said...

Thanks everyone. And yes, all crows DO think theirs is the blackest. And when you only have one, I reckon that trait is even stronger.

M.Lane said...

I'm also so glad to see a post from you. Your heart is Epic and in the right spot it seems. All the best...

ML

NCJack said...

You have a teenaged daughter who allows you to not only take candid pix, but to post them on the web. I hope you realize the enormous amount of trust in, and respect for, you that this shows. Especially when you consider that she sees your judgment in garmentry even more than we do.
Onward through the fog, Bubba.

Anonymous said...

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Anonymous said...

So glad you are back.

Kathie Truitt said...

NO!!! She is NOT 16. That's just not possible......

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