Sunday, September 25, 2011

“Anonymous asked: I need a translator for this shit.”

A rookie over at tumblr…someone I suppose…who didn’t cut his reading teeth over here at the old fuzzy trash heap, said…

“Anonymous asked: I need a translator for this shit.”

And so I offered…

“It’s erudite. It’s heavy. It’s somewhat hiero-damn-glyphical. Mostly cryptic. Always laden with bullshit. And I’m right here. 24/7. If there’s something pacific that you want me to interprolate zackly and precise.

Oh, and I almost forgot. I’m the product of South Carolina public schools from K-12 and, I kid you not, my mamma smoked and drank during her pregnancy with me. S.C. … number one in gonorrhea and number 48 in SAT scores. Das me.

And damn. Another wrinkle in this need a translator for da shit blanket. I then went on to get way above my raising via advanced degrees from highfalutin schools…which just complicates the whole  babel tower overwrought sleight of hand that I manifest here. It’s just my cry. My cry for help.”



Fuzzy is as fuzzy does. Shut up.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

And you c'n cry on our Southern/SC shoulders any day. Not only do we unnerstand, we can hep.

Elizabeth

NCJack said...

Just say, "It's a Flusser thang, you wouldn't understand"

Mrs. Blandings said...

Clearly, they don't understand you over there. Come back home where you belong.

Bob said...

PS is soooooo right. Come back home.

ilovelimegreen said...

Please, please, please come back! Pretty please....with sugar and spoce and everything nice. (This comes from a girl with her own pair of fuzzy dice...lime, of course.)

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