Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Another Rant on the Clunky Beefroll

The oversized beefroll adorning the sides of otherwise classic loafers is an aberration. Why? Because I don’t personally like them and therefore you shouldn't either. And please, shut up in advance regarding the fact that my Venetians have bilateral beef rolls ballasting the fuzzy gait of the otherwise sleek and unadorned masterpiece. I know this. I’m the guy who dropped a dime on ‘em and bought ‘em home. But the Venetian pain de boeuf is restrained.
Beefrolls  are to loafers, what square toed shoes are to the general aesthetic sensibilities of covering one’s feet. Square toed shoes are cheap and butt-ugly. Myles Standish Pilgrim shoe looking absurdities. Beefrolls are riding shotgun in the pedal aesthetics demolition derby with the square toed  Myles Standish.
So go ahead. Wear your beef rolls with your skinny jeans. Rolled up real short—Sandra Dee style. And tell Thom Browne and Frank Muytjens the rest of us said hey.

Onward. Rolling.
ADG, II

10 comments:

LPC said...

Dude I didn't even know they were called beef rolls. So it's a net plus for me.

Patsy said...

I feel that way about so many things. I didn't realize I could tell people they should too. This opens up a whole new world!

Main Line Sportsman said...

Damn I hate those square toed monstrosities...what designer actually gave that junk the green light...and what twits actually purchased same??
Glad to see your posts again. Still waiting on your next Phila trip.

Anonymous said...

Beef rolls are not remotely in the same category as those other objects. I would rather wrap my feet in newspapers than wear those god awful things.

Best regards,
JRC

Peter said...

Oh, bless you. From my early teens I found them, well, dumb, in the old sense.

Bob said...

Damn happy your are back. Couldn't agree with you more 'bout the square toe shoe. The wearer of these monstrous, hideous shoes are banned from my group. Shut up.

Nelle Somerville said...

I have no idea how to read your Tumblr thingy. So glad to see you back...where you belong...!!!

Anonymous said...

Pedal aesthetic demolition derby...verbiage of the most welcomed sort.
BarbaraG

NCJack said...

Dear Sir:

I have recently re-loafered. I pennied. In addition, I beefrolled.

You may, upon receipt of this missive, shut up.

Cordially yours,

ADG said...

LPC…Prunella…you are way too kind regarding the learnings from this paltry rant of mine. And I love you for it. Of course, in a poised and cadenced-appropriate kind of “love” way.

Patsy…amazing the small triggers that can begin to do some “world opening” for us!

Main Line Sportsman…I’ll get to Philly and perhaps, the Steeplethang.

Anonymous…newspapers? I’m from the South. We’d just go barefeet.

Peter…They’re dumb in the new sense too.

Bob...I’ll be back. On a limited basis.

Nelle Somerville...I love you (see my love defined thangy that I wrote LPC) and thanks. Tumblr is just a picture book. Nothing really, to read. And I don’t belong anywhere…that’s my burden.

Anonymous said...”Pedal aesthetic demolition derby”...verbiage of the most welcomed sort. BarbaraG…I must admit that I was kinda proud of that particular phrase turn my damn-self.

NCJackie…I hear you and I understand. Regular Weejuns are Sprint/Sports/Rallye vehicles. Beefrolls are…NASCAR. So I know why you wear ‘em. BAM.

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